Top sex stories of 2011



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Now that I have you attention, let’s look back and see what made 2011 rock.

2011 has undoubtedly been the year of the voyeuristic Indian or ‘Herbert the Pervert’. He has used a numbers pile-driver to etch his name as the one with most impact on the country’s working. Sunny Leone, Poonam Pandey, Katrina Kaif, Veena Malik, Nargis Fakri and an array of many such sultry sirens were the most searched, watched, read and followed in any media format.

The country might have been melting in a pot of corruption, terrorism, border insecurity, pollution, inflation and overpopulation, but here we had the mighty ‘voyeur’ celebrating life. No doomsday can shake his devotion to his senses.

Heck, the ‘voyeur’ even scored big in the backdrop of one of the most sensitive Indo-Pak talks, making headlines for Hina Rabbani Khar’s what not!

India is full of a billion prudes who will smirk at the mention of the golden word ‘SEX’ but never accept it as a part of our so called ‘Indian Tradition’. This hypocrisy is easily brought to the fore with the raging TRPs on TV, hits on the internet, audiences tuning-in the radio, billboards and crowds (Poor Anna Hazare could not gather a decent gathering in Mumbai while a crowd of thousands thronged a swanky mall to see a ‘hot’ starlet kicking off the New Year celebration).

Let’s draw a few corollaries:

-The economy’s spine twisting 2G scam, along with Kanimozhi’s jail and bail could not generate as much interest as the promos and gossip of ‘The Dirty Picture’ and Aishwarya Rai’s pregnancy. People were simply not interested in the age old bane of corruption but hey, how can you convert the insatiable interest in anything that has to do with sex? The nation knows about Beti B while 2G would result in a ‘Hain ji?’ query across the length and breadth of the glorious country.

- Koodankulam Nuclear Protest stands nowhere in public interest and following when pitted against Poonam Pandey’s stripshows. After all, what has the issue of nuclear plants got to do with the ‘common aka voyeur man’ when he can watch a 19-year old strip proudly in front of a webcam. Even in places where food, electricity and water are a problem, Ms Pandey has made inroads.

-Even if we stick to cases of law and administration, the Bhanwari Devi murder full of sleaze is much more read and watched by Indians than the interlocutors on J&K’s AFSPA (Armed Forces Special Powers Act, in case you did not know that but can tell Katrina’s ZNMD from MBKD at the drop of the hat).

-India was facing the brunt of the ever so growing inflation but even here, the discerned ‘voyeur’ was frantically logging to the net, switching on TV, radios and flipping newspapers for news on extramarital affairs and saucy WAGs.

-The sexual escapades of Strauss Kahn and Silvio Berlusconi had more people talking during their lunch breaks over the year than the Arab Revolution. I vividly remember a friend who followed the Arab Revolution not for the democracy it would bring to millions, but for the ‘hot Arab chicks’ with ‘potential’. My stomach might have churned, but his clan churns big business for the media industry.

2011 was a year when a nation that condemns prostitution and on-screen sex turned putty into the hands of a porn star called Sunny Leone. And at what loving convenience! What was earlier a part of a few men’s hidden computer folders now became a dinner time family watch. School kids searched for her information on the net and lest I dare say, were treated to an awesome actress of another kind. Thanks to our responsible channels, which realised the need to ‘catch em young’ and have a supersized ‘voyeur’ community for the generation to come, we can now put everything on the backburner and serve sex first.

Here’s wishing the 2012 doomsday wishers good luck and a happy New Year because if this is the direction we would be treading on, it’s better to perish in an apocalypse.