On a tranquil starry night, lying in my hammock where the gentle breeze coming from the windows kissed my rugged visage with gay abandon. Sick and tired by chasing the ghouls of life hopeful of pure bliss, my pulverized spirit gave a timorous sniffle and made me ponder over the life I was leading. A life full of pride, sloth, gluttony, lechery, covetousness, envy and wrath; encumbered by the yoke of copious peccadilloes, my frayed soul beseeched me to seek divine intervention soon before I die a corporal death!
I really don’t know whether it was a hallucination or a reverie, but determined for penitence, the very next morning I pledged to try leading an honorable life in an immoral world.
Where to start? This became an obvious question which was a relentless drone in my mind. After all these years, I had lived nothing but a vainglorious life. An atheist, a nihilist blessed with brimming egotism, I could not become an overnight Spartan! Down in the dumps, I started walking on an empty road bereft of any being - humming a song or two, kicking up dust and frightening the pusillanimous strays on my journey to nowhere.
I was the rebel with no cause, a stranger at complete loss. Sickened by a bottomless guilt and as if inebriated by potent ale, I kept dragging myself till my eyes fell upon a consecrated precinct. Like a moth pulled by the flame, I was simply drawn by the pristine aura of this sacrosanct space where, an ascetic – a holy baba was giving a discourse on altruism and virtue.
Silken white tresses, emaciated body and serene disposition, the baba shone like an incandescent star, while his followers partook in the holy discourse. Seeing me, the smiling baba welcomed me and gestured me to take a seat.
Already in a bamboozled frame of mind, like all others, I placidly joined the tribe. The discourse was on how to lead a life of uprightness and contentment. The sermon continued for an hour after which all the followers were asked to come again the next week. While I was getting up and brushing aside the dirt from my clothes, the holy baba came forth, put his hand on my head and said, ‘Do come again, your troubled soul needs help?’
As if the holy baba was blessed with an X-ray vision, I was simply amazed by this exposure and hurried back home. For the whole next week, the image of holy baba and his words kept ringing in my ears till the day when I once again entered the hallowed precincts; however, this time around while the holy baba was giving a discourse on altruism, my prying eyes fell on a beautiful girl sitting in the next row. Curly locks, doe-like eyes, pearl white teeth, swan like neck and a slender waist – the hot babe was beauty incarnate and as fascinating as the discourse.
For a habitual sinner, virtue can eclipse one’s vision but cannot exterminate the seed of transgression. In my case too, unlike the vices, good deeds are borne out of amnesia!
My visits to the holy grounds on the pretext of penance continued for a couple of weeks till one fine day the hot babe suddenly disappeared. I did not lose my heart and made insistent weekend trips to the holy sanctuary in order to catch a glimpse of the hot babe.
During all this time, when I was unable to find her, I was unconsciously enamored by the holy baba and his words on good deeds and honest living. One day during the sermons, suddenly I heard an inner voice that chided me for running after the sensual pursuits of happiness rather than the spiritual one. In the name of atonement of my sins, I had continued with my wild fantasies in the holy place. On witnessing me guilt ridden, with tears of sorrow rolling down my cheeks, it was the holy baba, who came forth and enquired the reason behind my grief.
Like a bruised child who weeps and embraces his mother, I held close to the holy baba and narrated my woes which made him go into a moment of stillness. Once I regained myself, an ever smiling holy baba took me into his hut and said, “So, you have finally got your answers?”
My atonement for my sins was complete as I got the crucial lessons of life. According to the holy baba, who all this time had a fair idea behind my frequent visits said, “Happiness and misery, birth and death, love and hatred are just passing phases of our lives. Human being is an embodiment of reason and passion where spirituality and carnality coexist. All this while, your journey towards enlightenment began with your physical passion leading you towards higher pursuits of life. The physical beauty became your guiding spirit towards the divine light thereby absolving you of all your sins. Finally, you have become pure, free …”
Once again, with the wind cooling off the sweat on my brow as I lie awake in my hammock, I rub my eyes in marvel imagining the holy baba and the hot babe in a dream that I just saw…
(The views expressed by the author in the blog are his/her own)