Reality check

Neha had stars in her eyes. She was probably hypnotized by the glamour of small screen - huge sets with shiny facades, loud music, celebrities applauding, crazy crowds in audience, a sweeping camera focusing on a child, as she dances impossible steps on meaningless songs. It cost her and her family a lot.

Eleven years old Neha Sawant was an avid dance student and had participated in the popular TV show Boogie Woogie last year. She was not selected, but it seemed that hadn’t broken her spirit. She went on to perform in another dance show in March.

Then something happened. Her parents, reportedly, were unhappy with her academic performance and thought her extracurricular activity was responsible. So they went ahead and pulled her out from her dancing lessons. That was a few months back.

As the New Year set in, little Neha, a Class VI student, apparently decided it was enough. She took a dupatta from her mom’s cupboard, made a knot of it and hanged herself from the ceiling of her apartment. No suicide note was found, no apparent reason was cited by her parents. But, even as police investigates the case, reality TV finds itself in yet another controversy.

Did dreams of becoming a star like so many of those seemingly magical kids, who dance, make us laugh, sing their hearts out and act like veterans on the small screen lead Neha to the extreme step? Or was it pressure from her own family on her academic performance?

The world of reality television is an extension of what kids go through even in schools - the rat race. Not able to or not being allowed to decide about their futures, children today are a bundle of nerves, who shudder at the thought of failing in an exam, a sport or a competition. The same vigour to see their child make them proud has parents pushing their barely out of crib tiny tots before the camera.

So we saw the otherwise sober Shekhar Kapur bursting into tears after the performance of a six-year old girl on his reality show that was hunting for talent across India. It wasn’t happiness that made the ‘Mr. India’ maker cry uncontrollably; he wanted the ‘exploitation’ to stop - the kid was gyrating to a raunchy number from a Bollywood flick. She didn’t understand what was happening and neither did we - why would the parents let innocence be plucked on national TV.

Those parents comprise one category which wants their children to become prodigies in an increasingly attention seeking world. You will also gather another show in which infants were handed over to inexperienced celebrity couples to test their parental instincts. It made Rakhi Sawant- and us - crib (though for different reasons, Rakhi couldn’t concentrate on food because of the baby); but the parents of the wailing child were evidently happy at being able to offer their ‘service’ to future’s parents.

And then there are those who are either disillusioned by the idiot box or are simply not interested in what their child wants to be. Like the father of one of the idiots in the recently released Aamir Khan starrer. As soon as his son was born, the proud daddy declared he would be an engineer one day. The rest of the super hit flick was about how the child grew up trying to deliver the tall order, crumpling his own wish of clicking wildlife.

Neha’s parents were probably a disillusioned lot after she failed to make the cut. But it is too early to blame them; the police and Neha’s dance teacher say it had been long since she had agreed to her parents and was going with the flow.

Nevertheless, TV has been blamed by activists, psychologists and media. They do have a reason - the current nationwide hit dance reality show had a contestant fainting after his performance. Reason - he was rejected. A few months ago, another aspirant was lashed out at by judges on a singing show. She was paralyzed and uproar against reality TV followed.

So is it the fault of television programs or a case of poor handling of subjects by guardians?

One can not deny that it is mostly the ignominy of not making the cut that takes fragile minds and souls down in the depression dump. TV sees all and reveals it to millions. The stakes here are larger than any school competition, no doubt. That is the format and to change things, a lot of changes would need to be affected in the industry itself. It is not undoable; it’s a matter of who bells the cat and when.

But there can be an easier way that can be implemented by all those who watch TV. Don’t let it dumb you down. Television is a means of entertainment - and sometimes knowledge- so let’s keep it at that. The problem is also of families losing their spirit of togetherness what with them being increasingly nuclear and/or members getting too busy with careers et al.

Walk into any average household on a pleasant evening and you are most likely to witness the sight of all the family members huddled around- not ol’ grandma reciting a story but a glowing small box emitting sounds and images. Taking a medium so seriously has resulted in a loss of the message it often tries to convey in various soaps- family life, moral values, healthy spirit of life etc.

As Michael Jackson said:

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change

Probably we need to begin with slight changes in our own living rooms and the rest will just follow.