So you all have come back again after a long year with tears in your eyes and contempt in your heart. What have you come here for - to show solidarity or sympathy or just to give me courage – mind you I need none of that. I refuse to forget and forgive those who attacked Mumbai and those who let it happen.
It has been a year since that night when I was left hurt and bleeding. With trembling hands I may have got to my feet, but all this while I was haunted by what I had to go through on the night of November 26, 2008.
They came, they attacked, but they did not achieve what they wanted to because I did not get scared of them. In fact, I provided shelter to one of them here.
I have no bitterness towards them when they walked across my chest and spilt blood on my face. The bloodshed may have continued for a few days, but each bullet shot is still fresh in my memory.
The blood may have been washed off after the attack, but the stains still remain.
I have seen it all in during riots, blasts and terror attacks. After each such incident, I had given you all courage and strength to carry on with your life.
I am tired of how often people use the term “spirit of Mumbai”, whenever I am attacked. “The city is up and running again,” these words have been used so many times that it makes me laugh.
As the city gets back on its feet, people put the horror behind them, but what about me?
That people do not have any other option, I understand. After all the compulsion of earning their bread and butter is more pressing, but I stand alone scarred. I am forced to bear and withstand repeated assaults and injuries. I am supposed to put up a brave front and give succor. I am supposed to behave as if nothing has happened!
I am weary and tired now. Every time there is bloodshed, a part of me dies.
End this cycle of violence now, lest you lose me.
(The views expressed by the author in the blog are his/her own)