From brides to ‘bridezillas’

Taking baby steps, posing coyly, breathing heavy and stealing glances of your man as you walk down the aisle to plunge into holy matrimony, is so passé. As of today, it’s the skimpily clad, blatant and societal norms-bashing lasses who are walking away with their dreams- be it a groom or quick fame. And shocked as I am, this is exactly what the latest trend, made popular by the age-old concept of swayamvar, suggests. The dynamics that make a perfect bride have sadly, yet evidently, undergone an appalling change.

Gone are the days when marriages were considered a private and sacred affair meant to mark the union of not only two individuals but also their families. Going by the latest fad, it’s the otherwise morally challenged beauties, or so I think, that are walking away with not a life partner but rather a winning trophy.

All due to shows that are deemed more as popularity contests presented with a sugar coating of a concept like swayamvar. Now I am no authority on the essentials needed to make a perfect bride but being the more tolerant gender, I feel morally obliged to state that Rahul Mahajan’s swayamvar not only made a mockery of our traditional values but also flipped the idea of an ideal wife.

One look at the new Mrs Mahajan’s past antics and wild photo shoots featuring her in barely-there bikinis and flesh-flashing erotic poses would be enough for a traditional family to shut their doors on her. But not today- or not till now at least, Rakhi ‘Swayamwar’ Sawant says it won’t last long.

So for all those NRIs, who drop into India in search for the typical Indian wife, here is some news: The Indian bride has not only emulated their western counterparts but has completely overtaken and in many ways left them far behind. She might no longer be your mommy’s ideal dream, but is sure set to qualify as her worst nightmare!

And may be your fantasy- only played out on national TV or spread out on broadsheets!.

Breaking the age old stereotypes that presented Indian brides as homely docile girls, the Gen-X swayamvar beauties with their backbiting antics, flirtatious ways and skin showing flares have transformed the new age brides into a bunch of uberly confused individuals; ratcheting up an age-old debate in the process - that in an attempt to impersonate the West, we have completely discarded our own values and beliefs.

So for all those bemused beauties, who are still finding hard to swallow the recent tamasha on telly, here are a few pointers needed to qualify as a perfect reality TV bride.

1. Backbiting techniques: So what if you were taught to display your best manners at all times, it’s the backbiting and sleazy comments that will take you a long way. Make sure your verbal diatribe begins before camera or the sister-in-law for added effects.

2. Skin show: You have got to get this one right. Be it a saree you don or a traditional salwar kameez, leave room for ample of flesh flashing. Flaunt all your curves that would make Rakhi Sawant go green with jealousy and see the prospective groom drop the ‘would-be’ tag along with his pants!

3. Flirtatious temperament: Who says girls can’t make the first move. Going by swayamvar style, even the most demure beauties can make outrageous attempts to grab a guy like Rahul Mahajan, who is solely fit to commit himself to an asylum where they teach you how to laugh.

4. Waterworks: Now this is one ancient tradition that has thankfully been kept intact even today- Tears, a silent tool of womanhood that makes maximum impact, were used in abundance on the show. Be it the elimination melodrama or revenge antics, the waterworks were deployed in plenty to score maximum brownie points.

5. Catfights: What’s more is that just when you think that the big drama has ended, the jilted contestants came out to spill dirt about the winner. From calling names to describing what the groom did when he got drunk- nothing escapes the limelight.

Change, as we know, is the only static. If you think you can keep up with the demands of the ever changing public perceptions about tradition, then the above points will help you sail smoothly through the waters of matrimony…till the producers decide to change the concept!