Dear Men,
We know you can't ignore anything about us - women!
Be it, in your words, that hot, perfectly sculpted chic with straightened hair walking across the street or that ethnic diva donning that hypnotizing bindi, draped in a Fabindia kurti and a churidaar with its folds crumpled beautifully unlike those creases on your forehead that are created when your mean eyes try to steal few glances...
Be it a group of hep-babes bargaining with the accessories' vendor, with frequent sounds of that anglicized bhaiya laced with a nasal tone or be it a bunch of higher secondary school girls donning pleated skirts, men will be men.
Wait - don't raise that ugly hirsute eyebrow. I don't mean to be mean by stereotyping all of you in one single breath. Some of you, in fact, very few of you, may be a bit different. But then why don’t you also understand, that all women too are not painted in the same colour. And that you don’t need to look at th
em through a glass of delicacy and sympathy and worse, with greed.
Women come in a sea of varieties. If you have come across someone who called you to help her open a tightly closed lunch box or someone who was easily cajoled by some foolish bet of yours, which you let her easily win to get a chance to go on a coffee date (in your terminology) then let me tell you that there are many others who believe in living life on their own terms, without any help ‘offered’ by the ‘stronger sex’.
I find it hard to swallow when men dub the ladies as the weaker sex, especially when it’s your mothers who are on their toes 24*7 taking care of each and every little thing that you don’t even care to know, what it takes to manage; when you work under a Boss who is herself ready to sweat it out day in and day out before expecting a fraction of the work from you.
It’s a general perception that the members of the ‘fairer sex’ are delicate, both physically and emotionally. Well, to brush away the former misconception, the likes of the chiselled-bodied, Clay Queen Justine Henin Hardenne will suffice. And as far as emotional strength is concerned, a plethora of studies and findings have proved that it is women who are emotionally stronger than men. May be, it’s an evolutionary process that has led them to get habituated to stress in this man-led society. Yes, still the man-led society. Today, she is everywhere. She is that CEO with billions in her purse; she is the Dean of a University, an astronaut, a Nasa stalwart, a music maestro, a heartthrob diva, a celebrity journalist, and even a fighter in the war fields. But, the question my dear is, do you really accept it. Do your petty minds let yourselves realize that women can be and are superior? Let alone the superiority stuff, at least equality? Yes, there may be a host of NGOs volunteering for the cause of women, a slew of political legislations empowering women (notably the ones entitling 50 % reservation for women in panchayat polls), and an army of men singing their praise in respect; but has the psychological change come yet?
If more and more positive steps are taken by many for the sake of women, then why does the graph of crimes against them goes on getting steeper and steeper with each passing day? Eve teasing, assaults, domestic harassment and rapes seem so familiar now. Delhi that has garnered enough notoriety, (thanks to the rapes and murders in broad daylight, in the moving cars, on the subway) has a Chief Minister ready with reasons galore after any big crime hits headlines. Recently she had found immigrants responsible for the surging crimes against women. Well I am sorry if you would like to have me believe that all the original Delhi Men are saints. Moreover, Mrs Dikshit had pointed out that today women are the victims of their own kin in their own homes, smearing all the blame on the way people are brought up. Though I find myself agreeing with the respected CM on this point, it doesn’t augur well for a state if the Chief Minister finds it easy to provide the reasons rather than getting up and doing something really tough about it.
Yesterday, I came across ridiculous news from Indonesia. The country’s Parliament said it would draft rules banning female lawmakers from wearing clothing such as miniskirts, contending that such attires invited rape.
"We know there have been a lot of rape cases and other immoral acts recently, and this is because women aren't wearing appropriate clothes," house of representatives speaker Marzuki Alie said.
“Women wearing inappropriate clothes arouse men, so it needs to be stopped. You know what men are like -- provocative clothing will make them do things,” he added.
Now, zeroing in on the last sentence, specially the part that says - You know what men are like...
Doesn’t this part of the sentence prove that men are self-acclaimed perverts? Is this what the Hon’ble speaker meant?
It’s like saying, don’t step out with money in your pockets, because money provokes me and I will definitely embezzle it; or like saying don’t wear that spectacle and look at me, because I am allergic to glare and I will certainly get up and punch you straight in your face and break that glassy thing into pieces.
The real reason behind the way you look at, talk to or touch a woman depends upon the family values that have or have not been instilled in you during your early years. Blame your father if he ever talked rough with your mother in front of you, also if he misbehaved with his homemade or his office secretary stealthily. Blame your mother too, if she didn’t react and made it clear that she wouldn’t allow anyone denying her the respect a woman deserves.
Because, inaction is more dangerous than bad deeds. The world has often suffered not because someone evil meted out something disastrous but more, because someone good did not stand up to revolt against the tyranny. So a woman is to be blamed equally if she didn’t even try to get her respect back, in the home, on the roads or the office, everywhere!
Also, Dear Men, if you are one of those who would happily and proudly tag yourself as a decent well- brought up gentleman, who knows all the etiquettes of behaving with women, it’s not enough. You need to change someone else, who smugly accepts and believes in ‘you-know-what-men-are-like’ concept. Because you know what we are like – God’s beautiful and unique creation that deserves nothing less than respect – Ah! The Woman!
(The views expressed by the author are personal)