Bonds of Offerings

By Ridhima Mangal | Updated: Feb 25, 2011, 18:06 PM IST

There are innumerable types of relationships you hold onto in your life. There are friends, spouses, children, siblings and there are also people who hate each other. <br/><br/>Fundamentally, all relationships come in your life because you have certain needs to fulfill- emotional, physical, social, and financial - basically and ego, pride, desperation or competition to prove superiority for not so basic and simple…of us. <br/><br/>You foster a certain type of relationship to fulfill whatever kind of need you have. If that need is not fulfilled...that relationship cannot exist.<br/><br/>Now, there is always an option to exist experientially where one can exist without any relationships where one is so complete within himself that it doesn’t matter; BUT at some point in life we do realize the need of having the right person around, for its human nature. And for most of us the quality of our relationship decides the quality of our life such are our dependencies.<br/><br/>If you look at it and try to understand, we all make friends, get married, bring up children, we build all these relationships in pursuit of happiness. <br/><br/>In other words, you are simply trying to squeeze some happiness out of people. Once you acquire this disposition, relationships will be a constant trouble, you cannot do without it, and you cannot do with it as there is no sense of joy or happiness within you, you are trying to extract it from somebody and that person is trying to extract it out of you. And that is where the battle begins. <br/><br/>We start to expect from the other person things we don’t allow ourselves which is peace of mind, happiness in life, space and respect for self to name a few and then we take the rose tinted glasses off one fine day only to start a blame game of the nasty sort. <br/><br/>If we want our relationship to be really beautiful, it is very important that as rational humans we first turn inwards and look at ourselves. <br/><br/>If you become a source of happiness by yourself, your relationships are about sharing happiness and that is when they are bound to be positive bonds of offerings. <br/><br/>Whereas, if your relationship is about extracting something out of somebody, it doesn’t matter how much you try there will be constant feeling of being unfulfilled -- from your partner because if you can’t understand yourself and fulfill your own expectations, NO ONE WILL!<br/><br/>On the other hand, if your relationship is an offering to the person who is next to you right now then everything shines bright and beautiful. And life takes its right course.<br/><br/>In this life we all need to pause for once, contemplate what we want, what we lack in our life and think about how we can fulfill our own needs. Without having to throw our baggage on someone else if you can find yourself, you will not just make a happier life of your own but spread happiness, belief and love to others around you. Life and relationships are as simple and fulfilling as you can make them, also the opposite for that matter.<br/>