Future Imperfect

By Ankita Shukla | Last Updated: Saturday, May 23, 2009 - 09:21
 
Ankita Shukla
Impromptu
 

<i>One man I can never meet. Him, I would like to give my whole heart to.</i>

Well, this is a famous quotation derived from one of my most favourite movies, 'The Lake House'. And now, getting onto why I touched upon this at this very instance- like all the women of my age, now I too have been thrust upon finding a perfect (if that exists at all) match for myself and that's what forces me to mention the above dialogue.

First things first, what the hell am I getting into? Frankly speaking, I've got no clues. Well, what else can a woman, who's touched her mid twenties, and yet not 'fallen in love’, say? Hmm… not that I am trying to demean myself in anyway, but I really think it (being not in love) is no big deal and I certainly owe myself dollops of self respect, hence can't even think of treating myself badly.

But really, at times I so wish I was invisible, so that no one could see me at all and that would save me from all those 'single male prying' eyes asking me - Woman, what are you waiting for? Me, avoiding those men is not an indication of the fact that they're bad, but yes it can be suggestive of the fact that they aren't good either. Can this be happening? Yes, it is...
Talking of love, not that I curtailed it from happening, I mean why would I want to be embarrassed in front of my posterity when they ask me to define love in future? Well, believe me, I gave it a few chances (in bold), but then one cannot be in love just for the sake of being in it and then I am not in support of the school of thought that says- 'Love someone who loves you'… and then why should I listen to that, tomorrow someone's going to come and say- 'Marry someone who wants to marry you', right? Nay, a complete nay.

Coming to marriage, Wikipedia says- 'Marriage is a social, religious, spiritual or legal union of individuals that creates kinship'. I say it is “phew”, it is some responsibility people! I mean how on earth do you have an amalgamation as great as that?? I am sure it is the biggest test of skills of all kinds, perhaps all of what you've learnt till date and I am obviously not talking with experience, but these are my supposed pre-pre-pre-marriage jitters that are making me say all this.

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed... but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. Why so? Because that is how we function. When I was a kid I used to think that we marry because we are in love, but as I grew up I realised that there was this huge excess baggage attached to marriage and mind it, it isn't duty free either! You do marry when you're in love but at times you don't, all thanks to the practicalities and technicalities involved with this institution like all the others these days.

Today, the whole definition of a relationship or rather a marriage has changed drastically. Some marry because they are in love, some because they don't want to work, some simply because they are seeking a change in their monotonous lives and some even marry for money.

While most of the above mentioned reasons sound ridiculous to me, the last one is simply indigestible; folks never marry for money, there are easier ways of making it!!

An American proverb says- 'You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince' and though it doesn't sound even a wee-bit comforting to me, I, sadly, am living by it or else what would you just do if you're surrounded by the not so right kind of men. It seems all the good ones are taken. Nevertheless, I hope the ones left are not gay!

I just don't seem to get it somehow. Here I am waiting for like this not so perfect a man because a ‘perfect man’ exists only in fairytales. Say, I am just hoping for a decent package in every way, but does he even exist? As there's always something better coming around the corner. But then, a woman needs to be careful or else she can spend her entire life waiting. Going by that logic would I have to settle for a less perfect than an imperfect man? Now, that's scary... eeeww!!

They say all marriages are happy, it's the living together afterwards, which is difficult. I believe we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly (??). It all seems weird as of now, but I have never been more mentally prepared for anything else, though I know that there's still a long time in my taking the final plunge. Guess I would just do it for the sake of the faith in the institution of marriage for if it weren’t for marriage, men and women would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Life is not a cakewalk, one can't just jump into something without pondering over the repercussions, at the same time can't take too long just thinking over them for life is not a book, it can be over in a second. As far as my ‘ideal’ man is concerned, he's more real to me now than anything I've ever known. Ignorance is bliss, so is marriage. Bring it on!



First Published: Saturday, May 23, 2009 - 09:21

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