“Happily married” isn’t a JOKE!

By Gayatri Sankar | Updated: Jun 05, 2012, 18:14 PM IST

I vividly remember the day when a friend of mine asked me if he could share a joke with me. I was all ears and waited for the joke to end after he uttered “happily married”. Then, I had little brains to understand the underlying meaning of the supposed joke he had cracked. And all I could do at the end was give him that dirty look that was suggestive of complete disgust!!!<br/><br/>Yes, for most men (not quite sure of women) being happy post marriage seems like a fairytale. And I fail to understand why an institution as sacred as a marital union is considered as dangerous as the Nazi regime in Germany. Perhaps for them, Hitler looks far more tolerable than the lady whom they have crowned as “wife” in their lives!<br/><br/>Nonetheless, of late I do feel that marriages have turned into a gamble of sorts where every step decides the fate of the game you have willingly or involuntarily chosen to play. Having said that, I do feel that marriages are like a drum that needs two sticks to be beaten, where either of the drumsticks cannot afford to behave like a lazy bum. Both have to put in equal amount of effort to make the drum sound melodious. Else there won’t be any music, isn’t it?<br/><br/>Trust me, I am no marriage counsellor to be giving my expertise on something I haven’t attempted till date. But I wouldn’t mind it either, for I believe it’s a “risk” worth taking. All it takes to make marriages “happy” is the willingness to make it work, irrespective of what the circumstances are, provided there is that fuel called LOVE.<br/><br/>Love is that special ingredient that makes life spicier and acts as a catalyst in restoring things even in the most adverse of conditions. Unless you are one of those with rhino skin, who doesn’t allow any kind of emotion to permeate deep into you. <br/><br/>Prior to marital commitment, the wife looks like an “angel”, and post marriage the same word goes missing from the husband’s dictionary. Now do you understand the state of mind of the “so-called” victim who loves to be treated compassionately by his male friends who suffer from the same domestic crisis!<br/><br/>Men often feel that they would be deprived of their private space post marriage. For them, the wife transforms into a nagger whose main agenda in life is to ruin her husband’s peace and happiness. Yes, I wouldn’t ever appreciate anyone who doesn’t believe in giving others their much needed space, but there has to be a sense of understanding between the spouses. Again, where will this understanding come from?<br/><br/>Wish someone sells a bottle of a potion called “understanding” that could heal all kinds of illness in a relationship. But I really wonder if anyone would vouch for such treatment in the first place!<br/><br/>Taking a dig at marriage is something most of us are good at. It comes easily to most men. Given a chance, they could turn stand-up comedians and come up with hilarious one-liners on the subject instantly.<br/><br/>You see it takes two hands to clap. Similarly for a marriage to culminate into a successful one, the two parties involved must put their best foot forward. It’s almost like signing a treaty peacefully! <br/><br/>Take marriage as a joy ride that makes you overcome all your anxiety. It’s that tender plant that needs sufficient watering so that it can bear fruits in future. It’s the only journey where your companion walks hand-in-and with you. Just try and look at it from an angle that shows you the brighter aspects of the union-after all ‘the glass is half full’ sounds far better than ‘the glass is half empty’, isn’t it?<br/><br/>Think about it.