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If Bollywood superstars participated in the Olympics…

By Suyash Srivastava | Last Updated: Thursday, August 16, 2012 - 19:12
Suyash Srivastava

Indian athletes altogether got six medals at the London Olympics, adding three more medals to our tally than the Beijing Olympics. So I made a calculation. If they keep adding 3 medals every four years, then at this rate, we will win 50 medals at the 2072 Olympics. So I analysed that if given a chance, a few Bollywood celebrities can certainly boost India’s odds at the biggest sporting event in the future. Here is a list of those who can actually make a difference:

<b>Sunny Leone...err Deol:</b> Eight Indian pugilists made it to the London Olympics but none of them returned with a medal apart from a mother of two, Mary Kom. But I am sure, with his <i>'dhai kilo ka haath' </i>Sunny <i>paaji</i> could knock out many opponents in the first bout itself and even the referee wouldn’t dare to stop him. He will have the advantage of threatening his opponents with his fierce look. Those who have seen the movie ‘Gadar’ will think twice before staging a contest against him.

Sunny Deol can also impress the judges with his deafening roar every now and then. With his superman skills, just like <i>‘tareekh pey tareekh,</i> he could get ‘medal <i>pey</i> medal’ for his Hindustan.

<b>Akshay Kumar:</b> It was disheartening to see no Indian participation in the Judo event at the Olympics. So if given a chance with the kind of fighter he is and with a black belt in martial-arts, I am sure Akshay Kumar can ensure a medal in Judo.

We all know that he is extremely busy with his Bollywood flicks for which he has reportedly hiked his fee to Rs 40 crore, but the ‘Khiladiyon ka Khiladi’ shouldn’t mind showing his skills at the biggest sporting event.

<b>Aamir Khan:</b> The Indian sportspersons/athletes have the tendency of performing well during practice sessions (Rohit Sharma is trending) but when it comes to giving their best at the right time, they falter. Thus we need someone like Aamir Khan who can teach them the art of ‘perfection’.

He won’t be able to put in his ‘Lagaan’ skills as cricket is no more a part of Olympics, but under his guidance, the hard-working athletes might do wonders with a ‘perfect’ technique.

And yes, his job will entirely be to train the athletes to do their best and we will not force him to be present at the ‘award ceremonies’.

<b>SRK:</b> When you talk about Bollywood’s connection with sport, it is impossible not to mention the very sporty King Khan.

I reckon Shah Rukh must have impressed all of you with his ''70 minute <i>waali</i> speech'' in ‘Chak de India’ and hence IOA can appoint him as the motivational speaker. He has done that both in real and reel life (with KKR which didn’t work out). However, he has enough experience under his belt to motivate an Indian contingent.

And with the sense of humour that he has, his presence would be a good stress-buster for the athletes as well.

<b>Salman Khan:</b> Well the Indian wrestlers did make the country proud with a bronze and a silver medal at the London Olympics, but if given a chance, it is something which <i>Sallu bhai</i> can do with pride as well.

He is in good shape like most of the Indian wrestlers and Salman Khan can be an apt choice to flex his muscles for a medal.

But before he leaves for the Olympics, we should get a commitment from him for a medal, because <i>“Ek baar jo usne commitment kar di toh…”</i>

<b>Rajinikanth:</b> There is nothing in this world which Rajini-Kan’t. While it is impossible to categorise him into a particular sport, undoubtedly he is someone who can easily participate in multiple events. And being modest enough, I am sure he would amend the rules for himself to make sure the other athletes don’t complain of his superhuman skills giving him an advantage.

For example, he could combine the 100m race with javelin throw and pole-vault (high-jump for Rajini) in a single attempt for himself. So he would first defeat this ‘Bolt’ guy by some 4-5 seconds and in the same stride would pick and throw a javelin and even before it could land, he would have clinched a gold in the pole vault event, without a pole ‘mind it’!

Just imagine, it would be a treat to watch our superhero juggle with the gold medals (don’t demean him by expecting bronze, silver) at the end of Olympics.

<b>Bappi Lahiri:</b> Last but not the least I want Bappi Da in my list. And you may ask why him? Well he is someone whose mere presence is sure to motivate the Indian athletes at all times. Apart from working on a few motivational tunes, he would inspire the athletes to bag more ‘gold’.

And in case the athletes and celebrities once again fail to bring gold, on their flight back to India, he would ensure that we carry more gold than Michael Phelps has in his kitty from all the Olympics!

First Published: Thursday, August 16, 2012 - 19:12

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