Let me off the hook!

By Bhavna Khullar | Last Updated: Monday, April 19, 2010 - 16:07
 
Bhavna Khullar
Grapevine
 

Hell, not again! The dreaded wedding season is back, at least in my huge family with uncountable relatives and their relatives. It’s that time of the year when I am dragged along to attend elaborate wedding functions, and nobody hears my wails, protests and ‘I'm not going,’ yells! I hate to call it a season and also hate the thought of shoving my way into the dance floor, wriggling my body disinterestedly, or sleeping on those not-so-comfortable couches throughout the night.

I mean the experience is too boring. Things become hopelessly phony when I have to pretend to be in high spirits while greeting someone from our extended family, whom I hardly ever see. However, it is impossible to not accompany my parents to such functions as by the end of the inevitable ‘war of words’ with them, emotional blackmailing comes in the scenario. And I lose miserably.

But why do we have to attend the family functions? I mean, of course we can stay at home alone and we don't actually need to be taken everywhere. Then, why do we have to protest against it every time and finally give up?

It’s not like I’m never willing to spend time with my folks or I don’t enjoy their company. But I fail to understand as to why it feels like an obligation whenever it comes down to visiting relatives. Should we have a reason to catch up just to make someone else happy? And what about our happiness? Personally, because I’m really a social person, I wouldn’t tag every family event a ‘boring thing’ to be written off as an excuse, but then it gets tough when I am probed about personal stuff by distant relatives, who really don’t care.

But that’s not all! If you would notice, most of the times, you would have these occasions scheduled to clash with your long-awaited engagements. And on such occasions, it’s reinforced to us very strongly that ‘the time when the family comes together is the most important thing’. It’s a requirement and not an option.

Anyhow, after all of that, it’s worse when you actually land up at the over-hyped celebration, and forcefully try to mingle with others. You will have to bear with the loud music that would force you to hold screaming conversations. And you can’t do much about the situation than just sitting there and watching everyone else talk, and yeah…also struggle to join in, as everyone would still choose to talk.

For me, nothing is more tiresome than attending such marriages. I mean I surely know how to approach people and I have friends. But I have to hold my temper when someone blames me for not keeping in touch, while the person has been equally disinterested and not-bothered himself. And then it gets quite irritating when some unfamiliar family faces get overly inquisitive about personal matters. Earlier it used to be the report card, then the focus shifted to my height, and now everyone seems extremely worried about my marriage. But why bring it all up? Wonder why it’s always been like I’m being interviewed on my personal life at such weddings! I say, it’s much convenient and pleasant to just meet up, have fun together, and not end-up making the whole thing a big painful deal! Really wish to be a part of a family affair which doesn’t deteriorate into a mere finger-pointing business.

Looks like a utopian idea, but still can’t do anything but hope. For now, I’m really struggling to look for excuses, the unpredictable ones, to be able to ostracize myself from the supposedly joyous celebrations lined up in my family. I’m so sure it’s time that I really went beyond giving excuses about professional commitment to convince my parents to let me off the hook. How I wish lying with a straight face was easy – so that I could do this every so often!



First Published: Monday, April 19, 2010 - 16:07

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