Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage

Updated: Dec 02, 2012, 19:37 PM IST

It is that time of the year again when thousands of marriageable individuals embrace wedlock and celebrate one of the biggest milestones of their respective lives. While a number of men and women would take the traditional route, read: by settling down with an arranged match, there would also be those who are `brave` enough to defy the age-old norms and choose their own partner.

Well, this ceaseless, pointless and bothersome debate of `Love marriage vs arranged marriage` has been done to death in India where the custom of arranged marriage was once considered an unchangeable norm come what may.

The trend of arranged marriages began ages ago, when child marriages in India were rampant and children were married off by ignorant parents. And yes, the new bride would especially be drilled with the words `compromise and adjust` in her head by the patriarchal society when problems owing to compatibility arose in the consortium. Even when the concept of child marriages was disregarded by the new judicial laws, the idea of arranged marriages was too good to be let off by the Indians. That is why we have families who make it obligatory for their child to tie the holy knot with whoever they pick to suit the clan`s taste.

In our `purist` society, the approach of love marriage or better say marriage by one`s choice still remains an anathema, thanks to the feudal mindset of those who fail to change with the changing times. Proposals of love marriage are met with raised eyebrows, endless curses, and every attempt is made to thwart the possibility of a union solemnised without acceptance of the elders of the respective families.

However, there are families who are accepting the new trend showing a ray of hope to change India`s future for the better. Parents perhaps understand that things don`t work by shoving their choice down the throat of their children but rather by giving the latter freedom to choose their soul mate – either all by themselves or from the given choices.

I won`t go further into the territory of making arguments in support of love marriages and I am not even against arranged matches. Arranged marriages work for many people as same cultural/social/economic backgrounds help people adjust more easily in the new fit to a large extent. But I would like to urge my country`s men and women to abide by their heart in the matters of heart. Whichever way you choose to marry, it is important to nourish the relationship with mutual love, respect and understanding because time tests both types of marriages. And if divorce and separation on petty issues keep breaking matrimonial ties, then soon the future generation would lose faith in this institution called marriage.