The bond of togetherness

Updated: Jul 29, 2010, 13:09 PM IST

Around the corner I have a friend,<br>
In this great city that has no end,<br>
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,<br>
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,<br>
For life is a swift and terrible race,<br>
He knows I like him just as well,<br>
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,<br>
And now we are busy, tired men.<br>
Tired of playing a foolish game,<br>
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim<br>
Just to show that I'm thinking of him",<br>
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,<br>
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,<br>
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."<br>
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.<br>
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
The poem written by Charles Hanson Towne exactly describes the situation most of us face today. Busy in our own world and running to fulfil our aspirations, we suddenly forget an important part of our life `Friends`. Years back we pledged to be together in every thick and thin and suddenly when it was about making a choice, we settled for our own self interests forgetting the promise we once made. I would never say that chasing your goal is bad, but then forgetting your friends is not something great either. What is the use of scaling great mountains when there is nobody to sit and cheer for you at the end? It’s only the presence of friends in one’s life that makes success a worthy affair.
As I write these lines my memories take me to good old days when no matter what, it was important to go to college even if it meant no classes and studies. Every time when mom asked me to stay back home, I only gave her one big excuse..........“Mom, I have a very important class today, can’t miss it”...and then as I reached my college gates the whole lot of good sweet friends stood staring angrily at me for being late once again for the first-day- first-show of the latest released movie. Things were much easier then, as I only had to say sorry and promise not to be late ever after. No matter what the movie was about, it was important to pass comments on the characters and then at the end giving an analytical if we were the best critics to judge it. Be it stopping at a roadside <i>dhabba</i> to satisfy our appetite or just clicking cheerful photographs at any picturesque location, the drive used to be no less exciting.
But then, things have changed. Today even the most scrumptious food from the most up-market restaurant tastes no better than something from a road side joint and the pictures no more have the sweet smiles, instead they just look like a fake wide grin. The change only makes me feel that no matter what you are and who you are, life feels miserable sans friends.
The question is, why does a friendship that once seemed so evergreen turn listless after a while? On pondering deep I feel, maybe it is because we all build our friendships on a give and take basis and our egos overpower our relations, so much so that we lose out on the most prized relationship of our life.
No longer does friendship mean about giving without expecting something in return. The smallest reason is more than enough for our egos to rise, breaking a relation built on trust and belief within seconds.
Whatever may be the reason for a friendship going kaput, one should never close the door for reconciliation. Never allow your big fat ego to come in between. The best way to keep a friendship going is to talk about the differences and never let misunderstanding come in the way.
If you have not talked to one of your friends for quite a while, then I think this Friendship Day brings in the best opportunity to set the pace for a reunion. I know friendship needs no occasion as it is a celebration in itself, yet when you need a reason to call up or go and meet a friend after a long time, you’d better use the opportunity. Just go give them a tight hug and tell them how much you missed them all this while. And trust me, if they are your genuine friends then the only thing that they would say is “why did you come so late....idiot”. After all friendship is all about being together.............

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