The Great Recession Depression!

By Ankita Shukla | Last Updated: Sunday, August 30, 2009 - 11:21
 
Ankita Shukla  

Wanted: An anti-recession specialist to recession-proof me!

Well, that's an ad I am seriously planning to put up. This time and day can be easily called 'the great depression' for what is there to not call it that. Recession (R) sucks, sucks big time. People have lost jobs, and they still losing them. Some had broken engagements, more so broken marriages; for their partners couldn't support them in the trying times and why would they practically, where everyone wants sustainability and comforts- there is no room for empathy!

It is so easy to pass a judgment or overlook a situation when one is not affected by it, but what if one is a part of it and that too an active one? Difficult is the word that comes to my mind when I proceed to elaborate my current inability to take in my stride- this hyped up term- recession!

Well I am bitter to the core, like each one of us, and miffed with God for He made us guinea pigs to experiment this phenomenon of His. Why me God, I mean, weren't the nuclear weapons enough? Or wasn't it demeaning enough to call my country a developing nation forever? Huh!

I am desperately seeking an anti-recession specialist, who can make me return to the glories of the past for real, for once. I fear stagnating in every way; even though not much has been lost due to this 'R', it's just this feeling that refuses to go. And when I try to ponder over it, and try and find out what the real reason is, I am left without an answer for there is none.

The simplest of things in life have been screwed up by 'Mr Recession' - our coffee hangout stopped serving mustard sauce with sandwiches even before the waiters there could learn how to spell recession. Toilets stopped having tissues, for it's recession. By the way, what does a toilet paper have to do with recession? Have we stopped eating food? No. Have we stopped excreting? No. Then why are the toilets sans the indispensable toilet paper?? Ridiculous, that is! I hope this one ends soon or else we might have to do without water too!

Dear God, I wanna have my sandwich with mustard coz I pay for it or pay all the more, I wanna have a salary hike coz I work for it, I wanna go to the loo and I need the toilet paper! Oh puhleez [sic] end this recession...

And now, for the latest, Levis Strauss is offering an interest free installment scheme if one wants to buy jeans to ease the recession depression. Whoa! Now that hurts real hard. Are we not even worthy enough to buy a pair of jeans now? We are, but then it'll certainly require a planning desk now. France, Germany and Japan are supposedly out of recession, can people there buy jeans now?

Okay, I know we can't do much about it, but what we can do is analyse as to why this 'R' is pinching us so much. It's pinching us because it refuses to go. It is pinching us as we haven't met him, seen him or else we would’ve throttled him to death. I want to break away from the shackles of this rope of recession tightly tied across our necks.

They say- when vague, play safe; I say- when vague, don't mess up things till they mess you up. But wait means patience and that's a virtue indeed. Can you imagine yourself after a few months still cribbing about the universal spoil-sport, this God forsaken recession? Me? I can't and won't. Hmm...what will I do, so I don't end up like that? Well I will stop discussing it altogether (easiest solution?)…nah. Clueless is the word. Someone told me to hit the gym to beat the recession blues, but I thought that too costs a lot, so recession makes that go kaput as well!

Why wait when there ain't a solution? Did the outbreak of swine flu make people stop going out and starting to discuss it at length every hour? Yes…but when they realized it was a flu which won’t fly away anytime soon, they stopped and went ahead with their masked lives.

So forget it, because there isn't a solution when you don't want to seek one! Let's move on and let the recession bite dust or be ready to tell your grandchildren about a disease that nearly killed you and your self-respect. Let's beat this epidemic before it eats us up, how? Figure it out because I haven’t been able to, yet.



First Published: Sunday, August 30, 2009 - 11:21

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