<i>“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”</i>
I personally don’t know you, but I know what you have been through. I know all about your private hell and the hurt that you have been hiding from the world. It may have happened to you perhaps yesterday or perhaps long back, but you cannot deny that ‘pain’ has happened to you.
Your agony spills out through that hastily wiped tear in the corner of your eyes, when the memory of your loss makes life unbearable. It shows when you grimace to bear your individual burden, and then move around as if nothing has happened and there is absolutely nothing to worry about in this world. You laugh and crack jokes and try to forget it, but the fact is – the pain is there, persistently in the shadows. You are always in dilemma - you cannot run away from it and you don’t want to face it. And the worst is you don’t even want to own that you are mourning your loss just because you have to show a brave face to the world – a successful, smiling, painless face.
Every morning when you wake up to carry on with yet another day, the pain claws at your heart to remind you of your loss. One by one those memories flash through your mind and before you know, tears stream down your face and stain your pillow. You cover your face with sheets, lest someone sees you in that pathetic state. You feel there is no reason to get up and work when the one you hold so dear has hurt you so much knowingly or unknowingly – or perhaps you cry because you feel guilty of doing the same to your loved one, knowingly or unknowingly. Perhaps some close friends have inkling about your misery, but no one knows the full measure of it.
It is strange how the food tastes when you are in pain. It refuses to go down your throat, you swallow it with water conscious of people staring at you and then you pretend and laugh and make it look so light and easy.
Then pain strikes you whenever you are alone – in the washroom, in your car, in your room. You stare into nothing like a madman, stone-faced and hard. You even talk to yourself aloud and hold God responsible for your misfortune, your miserable plight, your terrible angst. It is strange, you hate God and don’t want anything to do with Him and yet try to find solace in Him. And then, when you hear footsteps outside, you change your demeanour and come out all cheer and smile.
You want to just run away, to hide from pain, to take that extreme step…for respite. So many have been tempted to end their lives. The beautiful model Viveka Babajee, is most recent example, who succumbed to the burden of living. But dear, you know, really there is no escape – not even in death. In life, at least there is always hope – just give time, some time. There is nothing time cannot heal. To tell you the truth, to suffer or to not suffer is really in your hands.
For now, just tell yourself that this will pass. Remember that if you are given pain, you are given even more strength to bear it. Don’t underestimate yourself; you have so much strength that you can handle your misfortune as well as that of others. Also remember that someone up there has bigger and better plans for you, which you will decipher with time for nothing happens in this world without a cause. Till then, try to concentrate on the brighter side of the misfortune and although, I am sure you will deny it, there is always a brighter side!
You must be wondering how. I know all this and much more dear. No, you have never confessed to me about your pain. How can you, when you don’t even know me? I have never seen you and never met you. I am just another face in the crowd of human beings carrying their individual burden of existence. I know because of the simple fact that I am a fellow sufferer. I have felt the same when a dear one went away, or died or when I suffered an unexpected misfortune. You and I have to bear our ordeal. No one is untouched - each person around you has felt the same sometime or the other in life. But life goes on and time really heals all wounds.
But dear, I am writing this to congratulate you. Remember the popular saying – ‘In every difficulty, there is opportunity’. You have the blessed opportunity now to enrich yourself – mentally and emotionally. Long after, when trial and tribulations will come again in your life, you will look back at this and say – ‘I sailed through that killing phase of my life, this is nothing, I can handle it with a ‘real’ smile on my face’. And you will look forward to the challenges that misfortune brings with it. So, whoever you are – dear reader, do not cry over what you have gone through. Remember you will laugh again like a child, you will once again feel the rain drops against your cheeks and your days will be bright again… Adieu!
<i>"Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself.” </i>