I feel like Rip Van Winkle. Yes, the very same man who slept under a rock and woke up ages later to realise the world had changed drastically. I don't know where I have been, though believe me, every second of my life is accounted for, but I realise so many things have changed that suddenly an entirely different world seems to have crept up on me. And I don't know what to make of it. For instance, when I was young, we set our own goals. Not all of us, some, like me, bumbled our way through life but we got on, thank you very much. What I am saying is that we went about our lives our way and nobody cared…and suddenly, everyone is conspiring against me. How did they know I am one of those who never set any goals in life that they all have volunteered to help me now?
Don't believe me? Sample my regular day at work: As I skim newspapers and popular sites for news that I hope I can write better, I end up looking at their Bollywood and trending stories sections as well. And this is where reality hits me. I realise I am old, probably older than I would want to believe. Because those stories leave me confused. "This celebrity twinning with her daughter will give you major mother-daughter goals!" Really? And I feel accomplished if my 12-year-old daughter and I have spent a day without either (or both) of us lamenting how nobody gets us at all. And anyway, why would a tween want to look like her middle-aged mother and vice versa?
I cringe and move to another story…"TV starlet reveals her holiday plans"…and there I spot it! Her vacation is giving me major VACAY GOALS. When was the last time I had a vacay? Never, and that's not because I've been chained to my desk by my cruel bosses. It's because I would rather die than call my hard-earned leave a vacay…and what's vacay goals, for crying out loud? Why would a TV actor give me goals? Does she care about me, or do I, about her?
There's a short piece on someone's dog. And that's giving me PET GOALS (pun intended?) It just keeps getting worse. Power couples are talking about how they met, fell in love, and finally decided to get married…No!! The single-again woman in me wants to tell them…but before I know, they are giving me COUPLE GOALS. What couple? I used to be part of one, but ain't anymore, thank God for that!
Another one has an entrepreneur telling me how she straddles the corporate and her domestic world with equal ease…and yes, she is also giving me MULTI-TASKING GOALS. Now, who wants to teach me multi-tasking, am up for it. And those interested can place their bets on me. So please! Spare me those goals.
Oh! And what about FITNESS goals that most celebrities, especially in Bollywood, give? But what's the big deal about them being fit? Their work demands that they look good. I mean, we all get paid for our work, don't we?
In this FIFA season, the only goals I'd like to hear about are the ones scored on the field. Though truth be told, I don't care much about those either. And please, let's all go back to setting our own goals instead of giving others any. In this day and age of information overload, this is one thing we should probably continue doing on our own.
(This was first published on India.com)
(Disclaimer: The opinions expressed above are the personal views of the author and do not reflect the views of ZMCL.)