Sydney: Former Australia Test spinner Brad Hogg has revealed in a new book that retirement and a marriage breakdown led him to contemplate ending his life.
After seven Tests and being a key part of Australia's 2003 and 2007 winning World Cups, Hogg said he had no other option than to initially retire from all forms of cricket in 2007-08 in a bid to save his marriage to former wife Andrea.
In his autobiography, "The Wrong 'Un", released today, he details the depths he plummeted to in the next three years when, with the marriage over, he turned to alcohol and was unable to find contentment in an office job.
"I parked my car at (Fremantle's) Port Beach and went for a walk," he writes.
"I'd stare at the sea and think, I could swim out to that groyne (stone or concrete structure), and if I make it back, fine. If I don't make it back ... Well, hard luck.
"I was prepared to let fate decide. I was in a really dark place. I did that drive four times. And each time I thought about doing something really drastic.
"Thinking and doing are two completely different things, thankfully."
He bounced back and Hogg, one of cricket's fun-loving characters, was an ever-present in Australia's one-day side in the latter stages of his international career, taking 156 wickets and averaging 20.25 with the bat in 123 one-dayers.
Last year he became the oldest player ever to feature in an Indian Premier League match at the age of 44 for the Kolkata Knight Riders.
The quirky left-arm spinner, now 45, is still playing for the Melbourne Renegades in this season's Big Bash League.