Happiness is avoiding ugly women, says The Situation
New York: Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino says happiness on the Jersey Shore is all about avoiding "grenades" (ugly women) in his lifestyle guide, "Here`s the Situation."
The campy Gotham Books paperback features illustrations on proper ab maintenance and a "one-night stand checklist" which includes such tips as, "The best sex is often with a grenade - because she`s so grateful," reports the New York Post.
His wisdom on shaving include, "Chicks do dig guys with shaved legs . . . maybe they`re into the Michael Phelps look."
The Sitch also claims that to avoid catching colds, "Before any chick gets into my bed I make her slide into a 200-degree Jacuzzi to sterilize any microbial bacteria that might endanger my health."
There`s even a prayer to be recited by lotharios in training: "God grant me the stamina to satisfy hot chicks, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The book hits stores Nov. 2.