Los Angeles: "Twilight" star Kristen Stewart has credited her "traumatic" experiences in the public eye for turning her into a confident adult.
The 25-year-old actress said the criticism she faced following her public romance and break-up with Robert Pattinson made her stronger in life, reported Marie Claire magazine.
"I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn. Speaking very candidly, it was a really traumatic period in my early twenties that kick-started something in me that was a bit more... Feral. The public kind of burned me at the stake. But that's OK, I can take it. I'm not dead," she said.
Stewart said her insecurities began as a child, when she got tormented at school because she was a real tomboy who suddenly did not fit in with her male friends.
"All of a sudden, it wasn't cool to be one of the boys anymore. (Suddenly it was), 'Kristen's not a girl. What is she?' And I just died. It was a totally cliched, very real insecure breakdown moment, when I was like, 'I hate myself'.
"So many people say, 'Oh, it must have been so easy for you'. You think because I'm an actor that I didn't have a normal progression of self-hatred? When I was younger, I really wanted to be with the adults, to be addressed as a grown-up. I was the most open, forthcoming, confident little kid. I'm still trying to get back to that," she said,
The actress explained her issues continued and she really struggled under the microscope of fame.
"Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn't know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating."