London: Why are today’s men having an affair at the back of their wives, fiancee or girlfriends?
According to one of the world`s best-selling psychologists, powerful men have higher than average levels of testosterone, which they seek to ‘top up’ when their reserves become depleted. One way they do that is to have an affair
Dr John Gray, who has sold 50 million copies of ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’, has claimed that the gulfs in understanding that divide men from women are being exacerbated by hormones, which are working against people achieving monogamy in a stressful world.
"Why are the sexes not getting along? It`s just that people have new needs and they don`t know what to do about them; they want passion but don`t know how to sustain it," the Guardian quoted him as telling the Observer.
According to Gray, recent scandals show high-fliers use flings to top up on testosterone.
He said long-term relationships generate oxytocin, dubbed the ‘love hormone’, which encourages bonding between couples and helps to lower female stress levels. But that benefit comes at a price for alpha male partners.
"With oxytocin and alpha men, as the women`s stress level goes down when she gets oxytocin from a loving monogamous relationship, the man``s testosterone level is going down, so he``s getting more stressed and more inclined to seek out risky behaviour to push it back up again. The concept is that intimacy can lower a man``s sexual drive," he added.
He believes that is why men are driven to risky affairs, and why women will no longer tolerate it.