London: A psychologist has advised that at times when you feel burdened with your work or relationship, the best thing is to quit.
“A lot of our behaviour is about maintaining reputation in front of our family, friends and colleagues,” said Dr Robin Gilmour, psychologist at Lancaster University.
“We don’t want to be seen to chicken out, or for people to think less of us.
“But if we’re not careful, we become puppets and our life is not our own. We need to realise we don’t have to be approved of all the time,” added Gilmour.
“A lot of the time, we don’t want to admit to ourselves as much as to others that we’re in the wrong situation, so we throw good money after bad trying to fix it,” he said.
“Quitting is attached to a perceived sense of failure, which we don’t tolerate in this country. Actually, what you should be saying is: “Great, I tried that. It didn’t work out but it was a great learning experience. Now it’s time to move on to the next thing.”
“We’ve been brought up with this focus on perseverance rather than purposefulness. If you’re sticking with something just to prove something to others or yourself, but you’re not enjoying the rewards, then it’s a bit pointless,” he added.
“When you try something new, you’re not buying the guarantee that you’re going to enjoy it. You’re buying the chance to find out. And if you don’t enjoy it, then there’s no failure there; it’s a lesson learnt,” said Gilmour.