Like Deepika Padukone`s ‘Fast and Furious 7’, the Hollywood films that never happened

Presenting Bollywood missed trysts with H-Town.

So are you one of those people who believed that Deepika Padukone had signed ‘Fast and Furious 7’? Really, how many times have we witnessed this Hollywood hoax before? First the actor’s publicist leaks the news to some publication that he/she is being considered.

Then follows stories of how they are in talks and contract has to be signed. And finally reports of how the actress is too busy with other commitments to do the film are fed to the tabloids. How gullible can you be... For every Shabana Azmi, Om Puri and Irrfan Khan, who actually worked with A-listers in Hollywood, there is a Saif Ali Khan, a Deepika Padukone and an Anushka Sharma who couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t.

Why do Indian actors open their mouths so enthusiastically whenever it comes to a Hollywood project...only to look red-faced when the project turns out to be a non-starter?

Deepika Padukone in ‘Fast & Furious’

The franchise should be re-named Fast & Furiously Funny. In no time, names such as Sonam Kapoor, Neetu Chandra and, ahem, Deepika were flying around as contenders for the heroine’s part in the next Fast & Furious film. Deepika apparently even informed Homi Adjania and Saif Ali Khan that she may not be able to do their new project Finding Frenny Fernandes if Fast & Furious happened. All we can say, laut ke buddhu ghar ko aaye.

Saif Ali Khan-Natalie Portman

Wrong Khan! It was Irrfan who worked with Natalie Portman in Mira Nair’s short film on New York. Saif was just fantasising out loud when he ‘happened’ to mention in an interview that he was working with the lovely Ms Portman. The ‘joke’ backfired as the matter apparently got legal. Ouch!

Anushka Sharma Steven Spielberg

Barely had he flown back to the US after his flying visit to Bollywood when rumours that Spielberg will make a film with Anushka floated freely. Last heard, poor Spielberg was scratching his head trying to remember who among the heroines who shook hands with him was Ms Sharma.

Aishwarya Rai Michael Douglas

Long before Michael put his foot in the mouth with his comments on oral sex being the cause of his cancer, he was meant to do a sequel to ‘Romancing The Stone’ with Ash. To her credit she came close to working on this project. Locations were scouted. But then the project proved economically not viable... or something.

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan-Will Smith
This one really and truly would’ve happened. Will Smith was most keen that Ms Rai play the lead with him in John Hancock. In fact, he personally invited her after bathing her in compliments. But at that time Aishwarya was busy looking after Abhishek’s critically-ill grandmother. Exemplary no? In a country where stars are known to slavishly jump through the hoop even when Hollywood doesn’t even beckon!

Subhash K Jha/DNA

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