London: Pop star Cheryl Cole says she can`t wait for 2010 to end because it has been the "worst year" of her life.
In the last few months, the pop star has had to cope with splitting from her soccer player husband Ashley Cole and has had to battle back from the brink of death after catching malaria.
"It has been the worst year, the worst in my life ever. You know what I want more than anything? Those last 10 seconds on New Year`s Eve (31.12.10), `10, 9, 8 . 2011!` I`m going to scream then," femalefirst.co.uk quoted her as saying.
"I`m going to shout them out. I`m going to call everybody I love and just welcome the New Year and the new start," she said.
The 27-year-old singer feels "raw" from the separation and still can`t understand why the 29-year-old England player - who was caught sending explicit picture messages to other girls from his mobile phone and cheated on her - behaved the way he did.
"I will never understand why it happened. Never. I just don`t get it. We still talk - just general stuff. For anybody that`s been through a divorce, it`s the worst thing in the world.
"When your heart is breaking, it doesn`t make a difference what car you drive, what house you have, all of that. It`s a minor detail, it`s nothing. Right now it`s still fresh, it hasn`t been that long, it`s still raw. It does make you feel numb. I don`t recognise myself sometimes. It has been non-stop tears, just too much," she said.