London: Actress Cameron Diaz was devastated after her father`s death but says she has gradually come to terms with her loss and learnt to put it into a better perspective.
"There was this period of terrible numbness. And it`s impossible for anyone to know what`s it like until it happens to you. It had happened to friends of mine and I`d go, `Oh, I`m so sorry`, but in reality? How could I be truly sorry when I didn`t know what it meant?" she told Britain`s Vogue magazine.
The 37-year-old actress, who is currently shooting for `Knight And Day` with Tom Cruise, was very close to her father Emilio Diaz, 58, who died two-years ago.
"No one can ever underestimate how devastating it is. But at the same time what I`ve learnt about losing someone so close is that my life is full of his presence," the actress said.
Diaz believes that her father helped her survive and defend herself when she was growing up.
"You got picked on if you didn`t stand up for yourself or take what was coming at you. And as my dad always said, your bite needs to be as good as your bark," she said.