New Delhi: Alisha Chinai is probably the only pop diva in Indian music industry, who has also enjoyed success in Bollywood, but personally it has been a tough ride for the `Kajra Re` crooner.
In her 20 years of showbiz, Alisha has given numerous chart-busters -- from Sridevi`s sensuous number `Katein Nahi Katte Ye Din Ye Raat` in 1987 `Mr India` to Priyanka Chopra`s `Tinka Tinka` in `Karam` -- but behind all the razzmatazz lives a songstress who is a loner.
"I have always been a loner. It is not always about getting married or having a relationship. I don`t think that I am that ordinary person who can have these luxuries of life but then I have accepted that about myself. I am lucky that I am an artist who has the gift of something creative to do and fill up that void may be," Alisha told reporters.
The 38-year-old singer was married to her manager Rajesh Jhaveri in 1986 but separated in 1994.
"In terms of personal life it has always been highs and lows. I have been in relationships. There has been failures.
"Marriage requires a lot of adjustment with another different individual and it has too many constraints. So unless I truly love the other person more than myself in future...but then may be in the past I was not willing to give that much of myself," Alisha said.
But it is not the end of the road for the `Made In India` star who insists that she is a die-hard romantic.
"I am open to love. I am a die-hard romantic. After everything I still want to fall in love again. I am such a slave to love. All my songs are about love. How can I cannot be falling in love...its impossible...," Alisha said.
Till love beckons, Alisha is happy being busy with her music. She is going global with shows worldwide and collaborations with foreign musicians besides working on her upcoming music album.
The `It`s Rocking` hitmaker has also come up with a single `Babul Mora` with her singer father Madhukar Chinai which is up for free download on her newly launched website.
"I am working on singles with various producers from London, D Project. `Babul Mora` is a traditional song written by Wajid Ali Shah, the King of Awadh which is composed in Bhairavi Raag.
"I grew up listening to that song. My dad often used to sing it. I thought `let me do this song for my album`. But somehow when I recorded it in just my voice it was sounding incomplete then I asked my dad to sing with me. He could not understand then but result is brilliant," Alisha said.
Wajid Ali Shah originally wrote it while leaving his beloved Awadh after it was annexed by Britishers but these days it is taken as a `Bidaayi` song.
Talking of bidding adieu, Alisha has not been singing many Bollywood numbers these days her last number being `Tera Hone Laga Hun` from `Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani`, So is she planning to quit and concentrate on her own music?
"There is no music there...There is hardly any real music. It is very disheartening and disappointing for an artist to sing those kind of songs. Once in a while you get those special songs like `Tinka Tinka...` or `Tera Hone Laga Hun..` I am very lucky in that sense that I can actually pick and choose the good ones and I think I can afford it," Alisha said.
Alisha also tried her hand at reality TV with `Indian Idol 3`. The fifth season of the show is already on air, but the ex-judge is not too impressed.
"When I was a part of `Indian Idol 3` I made sure it was very real. In any case it was not very difficult to dislike some of the judges. Whatever you saw was a natural tension and discomfort there and it was pure reality and now I feel it has become too fake and farcical. I would not like to be a part of something dishonest," Alisha said.
From `Made In India` till her last `Shut Up N Kiss Me`, Alisha has sold a million of copies and she is no mood to give up her pop star career. "I am soon going to be back and back with a bang," said Alisha.