New Delhi: Controversies continue to dog Payal Rohatgi and the actress says it`s hard for her to understand why she`s always at the receiving end.
"I don`t go out of the way to create controversies; I know some actresses pay their publicist money to create a controversy, but I don`t know why this happens to me," Payal told IANS.
"May be that`s the way god wants me to learn from my experiences. It used to bother me earlier, but now it doesn`t. I have crossed that stage of `what people think about you`," she added.
Whether it`s her romantic dalliance with her reality TV co-star Rahul Mahajan or her wearing a bikini during a water task in the second season of "Bigg Boss" or accusing filmmaker Dibaker Bannerjee of seeking sexual favours, Payal has always hogged the limelight for the wrong reasons.
"I didn`t want to enter the pool in swimwear or create those controversies. They (showmakers) created a task that had to be done in the water. Since it was water volleyball, I had to wear an outfit that suits the sport. But they clipped footage of mine entering the pool that was picked up by TV channels and converted into a controversy. It was not my fault," she said.
"They could have shown a shot of me inside the water, but they shot me when I was getting inside the water, they (channel) were desperate to create TRPs," she added.
However, she does credit the show for getting her recogniton.
"When I started off, nobody held my hand and told me what I should do and how I should portray myself as an actor. When I went to Mumbai, I was in the process of figuring out what is good for me. `Bigg Boss` was a turning point. People started to relate to me...
"What films did not give me TV gave me. In films, may be I was lost or typecast. I was imagined in a particular way; I might not be. My identity as an indivdual became much stronger in `Bigg Boss`," said Payal, who has done films like "Plan", "36 China Town" and "Dhol".
Last seen in reality show "Zor Ka Jatka", Payal returns to the small screen with adventure reality show "Survivor India" and the actress says it is her attempt to change her stereotype image.
"Yes, this show is an attempt to change the perception that was created in `Big Boss`. This show will have a side of Payal that is much more blunt, honest and upfront. In `Bigg Boss`, there were so many things that I didn`t say and as a result, people thought I was a fake. I have not let it happen in `Survivor`," she said.
"Survivor India" is the Indian version of US reality show "Survivor". It goes on air Friday with 11 celebrity contestants and 11 commoners.
"It is about survival of the fittest, physically as well as mentally. It is not a luxury show; it is not a comfort zone show. Before going into the show, we all went through physical and psychological tests and those who were fit were selected. It was indeed challenging. I wanted to see how capable I am. I didn`t want to be known as a weak link in the show and I survived my way into it," she added.