London: After losing her first child, pop star Lily Allen is living in fear of miscarrying her baby with boyfriend Sam Cooper.
The `Smile` singer admits her pregnancy has not been joyful so far because she is haunted by her former baby tragedy, reported a news website.
Allen had lost her first baby in the beginning of 2008.
"I came off the pill and, weirdly, a week later it happened. But then it was really difficult, I had complications," she said.
"I had about a week and a half of really heavy bleeding and had gone through lots of scans...I have been living in fear for the past three months," Allen added.
The 25-year-old singer plans to retire from the music industry to concentrate on motherhood and she`s desperate to give her child the "normal" family upbringing she once craved.
Allen, the daughter of actor Keith Allen and screenwriter Alison Owen, said, "It`s not that I didn`t enjoy my childhood, because I did, but I suppose I was always quite fascinated by how a normal family would operate.