London: Pop star and actress Jennifer Lopez admits her relationship with actor Ben Affleck completely changed her, while her romance with rap superstar P Diddy was "ugly" and "sordid".
The 40-year-old star whose engagement to Affleck ended hours before they were supposed to wed in September 2003 was left heartbroken by their split and ended up "not quite the same person" she was before they started dating, Contactmusic reported.
"I don`t think I had ever been heartbroken in that way before - had so many hopes and dreams on something. This was the first time and it was tough. When you go through that kind of heartbreak in front of everybody you are not quite the same person you were before," Lopez says in her `Behind The Music` documentary for VH1.
Before Affleck, Lopez dated rapper P Diddy and the she describes the two-and-a-half year relationship Jennifer now describes as "ugly" and "sordid".
"He was like, `I love you`. Right away. It was very fast, but we did have a connection. We did fall in love and we were very close. But my relationship with him was always something I knew would end.
It started out as something very pure and innocent. But it did get ugly - it did get sordid," Lopez said. After dating the rapper, she had a brief marriage to backing dancer Cris Judd from September 2001 until they separated in June the next year, when she started dating
Despite her dramatic past relationships, Lopez is now settled with her long-term friend, singer Marc Anthony, who she briefly dated in the 90s and has two-year-old twins Max and Emme with.
They recorded a track together for Lopez`s film `Shall We Dance` in early 2004, and following a whirlwind romance, they wed on June 5 that year. "We make each other better. We reconnected like we had
never been apart. It was really the same chemistry and connection we had at the very beginning," Lopez said.
"I couldn`t be more in love. I say it every day - I`m the luckiest man on earth," Anthony said.