Go slow but don’t follow J.Lo when it comes to love, says expert

Last Updated: Aug 04, 2012, 19:26 PM IST

Melbourne: People who have gone through heartbreak and are looking to fall in love again should not follow in the footsteps of Jennifer Lopez, a psychologist has warned.

Relationship psychologist John Aiken has said that the duration, whether a couple were living together or had children or joint financial interests, all contribute to how long it takes before they are ready to embrace love again.

“All those things can influence (the time frame) and what happened with the break up - did you find your wife in bed with your best friend?” the Daily Telegraph quoted him as saying.

“It usually takes longer than 12 months because you have those anniversary dates to get through, all the birthdays, wedding anniversary, the first time you went to a certain cafe,” he said.

Relationship experts and psychologists have agreed that 12-18 months is the minimum people should give themselves to get over the grief of a serious relationship meltdown.

A new survey revealed that most people underestimated how long it took to recover from a broken heart.

That is despite the majority - 62.7 percent - admitting it took anywhere from 12 months to a decade, while almost 8 percent never recovered from it.

Latin diva Lopez is among those people who think a quick turnaround is a good thing.

The 43-year-old singer has had a history of moving quickly between her lovers since divorcing her first husband Miami waiter Ojani Noa in January 1998.

After only a few months she was dating rapper Sean Combs but dumped him in 2000.

Then she married her former back-up dancer Cris Judd in 2001 and, after a messy divorce next year, started dating actor Ben Affleck and two months after they split in 2004, started going out with singer Marc Anthony who she secretly wed in June that year with whom she separated last year.

Currently she is dating her 25-year-old backup dancer Casper Smart.

ANI