Three key rules for ending the relationship

Last Updated: Dec 08, 2011, 20:55 PM IST

There are some key rules you have to follow if you want to end the relationship.

How to end the relationship: Be respectful and considerate

Even if you really cannot stand your partner any longer and you are filled with anger and resentment, you should still not forget to be respectful. You should be aware that your partner will be surprised and hurt by your decision, especially if it was unexpected. That`s why your partner deserves a friendly and considerate approach. No matter what is the reason for ending the relationship, you should realize that it is a delicate matter and requires some preparation. While you are talking, always keep an eye contact with your partner and do not avoid any questions because he or she deserves the explanation.

Do not use swear words because it will make you look primitive and your partner will be additionally disappointed if you show the worst side of your personality. You should both try to remember your relationship the best way possible and part in a friendly or at least non-resentful way. This means you should forget about past resentments because they will only bring back issues that will hurt you all over again.

How to end the relationship: Do not even think about sending a text message

The conversation about the end of the relationship is one of the most important conversations which definitely requires physical presence of both partners. If you only send a text message, you will deeply hurt your partner. In this way you are letting your partner know that your relationship was not important enough for you to take the time and end it properly. This also show that you are immature and scared to face the problems in real life. It is no less cruel to end the relationship by email because anyone can hide behind written words, but it takes some real courage to have an honest conversation.

Live conversation is important because you give your partner a chance to ask questions and you have the possibility to explain the situation in detail. You should also look your partner in the eyes and wish him or her all the best in the future. Even though you may have ended the relationship because of painful reasons, do not let the bad energy and criticizing take over you. After all, it is probably your last contact with the person so he or she deserves a decent ending.

How to end the relationship: Explain why

End of the relationship calls for explanations but that does not mean that you have to analyze it for hours but only that you try to give the partner a satisfactory explanation. Do not say goodbye in one sentence and by saying that you do not have anything more to say, because the words unsaid will torture both of you later.

The main things you should say are: the main reasons for this decision, your opinion about whether the relationship is still worth fighting for and, first and foremost, be honest about your feelings. Maybe your decision is just temporary and you will change your mind eventually, but the partner has the right to know what he or she can expect from you, what are you thinking about and why did you decide to end the relationship.