What if your guy refuses to use a condom?

Last Updated: Sep 21, 2010, 21:17 PM IST

Men who are put off by condoms

There are men who will loudly complain about condoms, claiming that they are uncomfortable and cause erection problems, that they deprive them of much enjoyment during intercourse and ruin the intimate atmosphere. Some also misinterpret the proposition of using a condom as a hint at the partner`s promiscuity or even as an insult, believing that the suggestion implies that they are promiscuous themselves. The truth is that condoms significantly reduce the possibility of infection with sexually transmitted diseases and prevent unwanted pregnancy. This should be reason enough to persuade your partner to use a condom during sexual intercourse despite his prejudice.

Prepare well in advance

Before the atmosphere between you and your partner gets really steamy, talk to him openly about what risks you are prepared to take when having sexual intercourse. Don`t hesitate to speak to him about the means of contraception you would like to use. Let him know that by using condom he’s not protecting only you but himself as well. You might guess – from his attitude towards condoms – that he won`t bring anything along, so take care of it yourself.

Choose the appropriate condom

Nowadays you can find condoms in every shape, color, taste, size and material possible, which is just as well as not every shape of condom fits every penis. So there’s a pretty strong chance that you will be able to find a condom that is exactly right for your partner and will enable him to enjoy sexual intercourse and be protected at the same time. Many sexologists encourage couples not to give up too soon but to try out different shapes of condoms and different lubricants to find their perfect combination for maximum pleasure. You may want to try out the studded and ribbed condoms which can provide extra sensations to both partners, micro-thin condoms you won`t even feel (but which still make your sexual intercourse safe) or one of those funny-shaped condoms that can help you both relax while putting them on.

What if a condom causes an erection problem?

Even the idea of using a condom or an inappropriate condom may cause your partner to lose his erection. Such problems are often rooted in psychological trauma and are usually connected to the already present erection problems. If you know that your partner has a problem with condoms, try to put it on as imperceptibly as possible. This can be discreetly done during masturbation or oral sexual intercourse. Make sure the atmosphere is relaxed and sexy - the most skillful women even master putting it on with their tongues!

Can using a condom be sexy?

Dear women, you should take the job of putting a condom on his penis seriously! The last thing your partner needs when he’s all on fire is your clumsy attempts to put the condom on, or your bored yawns while he struggles with it himself. It’s no wonder that erection poses a problem. Remember that men are less likely to complain if they are highly aroused at that moment, so try to keep them that way by being very sexy, naughty and seductive while you are doing it. You may even want to learn how to put it on using your mouth only.

Why not try a female condom?

If your attempts at using a condom keep being ignored by your partner, you could try using a female condom. It looks like a pouch with flexible rings at each end and is inserted deep into the vagina. It should not be used together with male condom because their friction can cause tearing.