London: Hollywood actor Patrick Swayze`s widow Lisa Niemi has started sessions with a grief counselor after growing sick of analysing the star`s death.
The actor lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 2009 at the age of 59 and his wife Niemi has written a book- `Worth Fighting For: Love, Loss and Moving Forward`, about his 21-month fight against the disease.
She opens up about how she has coped with losing her partner, and reveals she has turned to a therapist after the depression of mourning took its toll.
"Part of me thinks, `I should be over this by now.` It`s almost like an embarrassment. In addition to feeling like a broken girl, I feel like a broken record. It`s only just recently that I started talking to a grief counsellor. I got sick of hearing myself say the same stuff in my head and to the friends I share with. Depression seems to have become a permanent fixture in my life. Like it`s stuck inside me and won`t unclog," she wrote.
"I`ll have some wonderful days, and then I`ll crash and it feels like nothing has changed at all. I still miss him as terribly as I ever did," she added.