Interesting Christmas Quotes

Updated: Dec 22, 2010, 15:30 PM IST

While the world celebrates the Holiday season, we bring to you some interesting and funny quotes on Christmas. Have a look, or rather, have a good laugh:

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?
-Arlo Guthrie

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighbourhood after dark.
-Dick Gregory

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukka’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukka!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’
- Dave Barry

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- Phyllis Diller

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
– Joan Rivers

Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?
– Tom Armstrong

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
– Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.
– W.J. Cameron.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
– Victor Borge

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
– P.J. O’Rourke.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
–Hamilton Wright Mabi

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
– Katharine Whitehorn

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
- Jay Leno

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
- Richard Lamm

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
- Anonymous

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
– Bernard Manning.

Compiled by Sudeshna Guha Roy