Sharique N Siddiquie
Late night phone calls, whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears, missed calls when least expected, holding hands, kisses... Everything was going fine in your relationship, just when the other person decides that it is the time to call it quits.
What went wrong? The more you think the more you get confused. Your pain and angst refuses to subside. You are pining for your beloved. You don’t know what to do now. You feel shattered. You feel like the world has ended for you. No place to hide… nothing to do. You are left just with your past memories, the memories that you so cherished have now become a burden.
Every second that you spent together seems wasted and meaningless. To make matters worse, possibility is rife that your ex might have moved on and that too with someone else.
Stop cribbing people! This is just a break up.
Well, before we move on, lets just think about the various positives of a break up. To start with, now you don’t need to worry about your cash, as there is no one on whom you need to spend on. No extra phone bills and no more gift expenses.
The second best part of being single is being free. You don’t need to worry about your partner, neither do you have to suffer for his/her sorrows. Now, you are free to live life on your terms and your own free will. You don’t need to answer any one, or ask them for any explanations.
Add to it the ample time you get to do things that you always wanted to. You can catch up your favourite action movie, dig that book gathering dust, or your favourite cricket match without bothering about the other person getting bored.
Now you don’t have to say those mushy things and do the balancing act between your professional and your personal life. You are free to work as much as you can without listening to stuff like ‘you don’t pay much attention to me’, ‘you are turning into a workaholic’ and ‘you don’t care for me’.
How to cope up
But easier said than done. The breakup does take its toll on you with feelings of loneliness creeping in, at least in the initial stages. To stay away from these feelings, just follow some easy tips.
First, stop thinking about it folks. Get over with it. Let bygones be bygones. Move on. These are not merely words, but if you put them into action, you might actually get over your past. It’s all in mind. So, if you stop thinking about it, it will be easier to get over it. Delete all the messages, burn all the cards and throw away all the gifts that you had from your past relationship. Just flush him/her out of your life. That person is just not worth you.
Do some very easy things. Indulge yourself in work. An empty mind is a devil’s workshop. So try not to keep yourself free; that ways, you don’t get time to crib about the past.
Developing a new hobby is another good way of getting over with it. You can also revive your favourite time pass, which you might have left because of your busy schedule. Make sure whatever you do is done with pleasure in mind and not just to forget your relationship.
Stay away from smoking and drinking. They not only injure your health but also make a serious dent into your pocket. There is no point wasting your hard earned money and health behind someone who doesn’t bother about you anymore.
Go out and enjoy with your friends. Being single never means being lonely. Watch your favourite movies, dine at your favourite restaurants, and buy new clothes. Do everything that gives you pleasure.
Cry. Though some people might find it a taboo or ‘girlie’, but get one-thing straight guys- crying does help. It gives vent to your feelings. A small crying session leaves you fresh and light.
For people, who have just broken up, this Valentine’s Day will be different from the previous one when you were engaged. So, why not make it a special one too. Go out with your single friends and enjoy your newly found independence and single status. Also, Valentine’s Day is a good occasion to start a new relationship. You might end up meeting the right kind of person.
But, there are certain don’ts that come with it. Don’t go to the same places that you visited often together. Don’t wear the same clothes that your ex liked. Don’t call up or message even to say ‘hi’. Because if you do, you might regret doing it later. It will do no good to both of you.
Also, stop cursing your ex. No one is perfect and nobody is bad. It is just the circumstances that make people act in certain ways and you cannot impose your feelings on someone. However you might want to try that trick that Shahid tells Kareena in Jab We Met- burning and flushing and swearing ritual. Who knows, Shahid himself tried it later!
Always remember this famous saying, ‘if God solves your problems, you have faith in his abilities and if he doesn’t that means he has faith in your abilities.’ Might be you have become single just because you are destined to meet someone better. Think of it that ways, if you are not single, you are losing your chances of hooking up with so many good looking and better people.
So, stop getting depressed. Go out and face the world. A new world and a new life is waiting out there to welcome you- this Valentines, embrace it. Good Luck!