Porn addict since age 8, girl says couldn't keep stable relations

She said she was confused by the ‘deep feeling’ the movie brought, and went searching for that feeling again.

Updated: Dec 08, 2015, 00:19 AM IST
Porn addict since age 8, girl says couldn't keep stable relations
Pic: ABC news

London: A 19-year-old girl who has been a porn addict since the age of 8, says “I wished now I had never seen it”. She spoke how her addiction had a devastating impact on her relationships.

Rebecca's obsession for hardcore porn led to a string of abusive and violent relationships. Her 11-year addiction to pornography started after she had seen a movie about a young girl who had been kidnapped, MailOnline quoted her as saying. She said she was confused by the ‘deep feeling’ the movie brought, and went searching for that feeling again.

“When I first started watching porn, I would just watch kind of I guess “normal” or “vanilla” porn, just heterosexual, just run of the mill,” the report quoted Rebecca as saying.

“And then as I got older it started becoming more violent, more aggressive and demeaning, I guess. I would watch it kind of multiple times a day and I felt like I couldn’t stop. I think I definitely lost control of my sexuality watching the really violent porn and things like bestiality,” she said.

Rebecca said her addiction escalated by the time she was 16-years-old when relationships turned violent. She began to fit the submissive role she saw women portrayed as in pornography, she said, and began asking partners to choke her which they were “always more than willing to do”.

Because of what she’d seen, Rebecca said she thought it was normal for relationships to be abusive, and that she’d been sexually assaulted ‘several times’ by her partners.

‘Looking back now, a 16-year-old shouldn’t have been engaging in really violent sex where there wasn’t a huge amount of respect or love involved,’ Rebecca said. “Retrospectively I wish I’d never seen it.”

Rebecca now visits a psychologist in the hopes of one day enjoying sex without violence.