Every relationship is different, and it has its own ups and downs. While complaints and causes of struggle may differ based on different people and their situation, their roots are pretty much the same. Navigating relationship challenges requires open communication and empathy.
Identify concerns, discuss feelings, and actively listen to your partner. Seek compromise, understanding that both perspectives are valid. Establish boundaries to foster mutual respect and space.
Zanzanil EBG, a self-love coach who also shares content related to her expertise on coto, a web-based social community platform that caters exclusively to women, shares four common relationship issues and how to resolve them.
Also read: How Effective Communication Can Help In Reducing Conflicts Among Couples - Expert Shares
“Instead of relationship issues, I call them “wounds”, and these stem from the emotional struggles we faced as a child that have shaped our thinking and behavioural patterns as adults. These are some common “wounds” that lie at the core of most relationship troubles as adults, and these might help you better identify what is the reason behind the issues you face with your partner," said Zanzanil.
a) Lack of feeling seen and heard: Most fights can be resolved if both partners let their other half speak their mind and vent. If your partner is feeling angry, allow them the space to release their emotions and address all the issues that they might be facing. If they hold you responsible for some of the things, or point out where you went wrong, absorb it all calmly without reacting immediately.
Don’t be judgmental of them or throw accusations back. Instead, when you’re both calm, address each issue and present your side, too. Coming to a solution and solving fights will become easier this way and will help you create an even stronger bond.
b) Not feeling understood: Another common reason for most relationship issues is that we don’t feel understood, and in combination with that, we don’t look for a solution to the way we’re feeling, even though we know what exactly will resolve our troubles. The only reason we actually talk about these troubles is to feel validated and understood, and not be made to feel that we’re overreacting or we need to take it easy.
c) Not being accepted for who we are: Most of us feel that we are being blamed for the way we feel when we’re going through something, and this can especially happen between partners who do not communicate well. If such a situation arises, understand that all your partner wants is for you to say “It’s ok to feel that way”.
d) Not feeling valued: How we feel about ourselves affects how others see us. While you may feel valued and self-sufficient on your own, if your partner makes you feel otherwise, it can severely strain your relationship with them and create differences. It’s necessary to address these issues upfront and understand what you feel you’re doing is not being acknowledged, and listen to your partner too.
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