London: Hollywood star Jodie Foster says unlike other directors, making films is not about the 'spectacle' for her, but about getting in touch with herself.


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The 55-year-old actor-filmmaker said it was interesting how one does not realise they were hooked on to a particular element while shooting the movie only to find out towards the end.


"Some directors love cranes and CGI and spectacle, but that is not why I make movies. I feel like I make movies because there are things I have to say in order to figure out who I am or my place in the world, or for me to evolve as a person.


"But until you get to the end of your movie you don't always realise why you were obsessed with that particular thing," Foster told The Observer newspaper.


"The Oscar-winning actor said she would not have taken up a 'cruel' career such as acting had she not been "thrown into it at the age of three".


"It's just not my personality. Maybe that's what's made my work interesting. But it's been really cruel and hard to be an actor..."


"It's hard for me to live with myself as the idea of celebrity. It makes me feel like I'm in a reality show. So I think I've neurotically gone in the other direction. I was raised in the public eye, so you have two options, you guard (your privacy) or you let it be for sale."