A Summer Of Dating: Check Dos And Don'ts And Tips For Introverts

Pic: Pixabay (representational purposes only)

Young daters value authenticity and honesty - and introverts are certainly not shy when it comes to being real on their Tinder bios. The term "introvert" appears 33 per cent more than “extrovert” in Tinder bios. To support more reserved daters to put themselves out there, the dating App has developed this introvert dating guide with Chandni Tugnait, Life Coach and Relationship Expert partner with Tinder India.

Introverts VS Extroverts

Introverted Tinder users are 40 per cent more likely than extroverts to say they are still figuring out their relationship goals. Introverts tend to take their time to get to know someone, both in friendships and in relationships. They often don't like to reveal too much personal information about themselves to new acquaintances either. So why do introverts share their personality type so much more in their Tinder bios? Chandni explains that “Introverts often find that their introversion is not adequately taken into account and respected, which leads to a greater need for attention to this personality trait. Adding their personality type in a dating profile can provide a sense of security and counteract possible misunderstandings, as introversion and reticence can be misinterpreted as disinterest or arrogance."

Overall, introverts are 15 per cent more likely to seek friendships on the App than extroverted users. According to Chandni Tugnait, introverts usually take longer to open up and confide in new people in their lives and take longer to build relationships and bonds with others. In return, however, these relationships tend to be deeper and more stable. If an introvert moves to a new city, for example, Tinder can help them meet new people and build their social circle.

What about after the match? Introverts often like lengthy, in-depth conversations - and they prefer to have them in the form of long, well-thought-out messages. Data shows that introverts on the App are 24 per cent more likely than extroverts to be "big-time texters". In  Chandni’s opinion, getting to know someone on the app over an extended period is not a waste of time, but a great way for introverts to properly assess their match on safe ground before meeting IRL. Extroverts often prefer faster over-the-phone or face-to-face exchanges. They are more than twice as likely (+60 per cent) as introverted daters to say they like talking on the phone.

4 reasons why Chandni Tugnait recommends introverts:

The first steps of getting to know someone are easier in the app. You can formulate your messages in peace, you don't have to sit directly across from your date, and if you share a few exciting facts about yourself in your bio, you can create a good basis for conversation and avoid awkward small talk.

Online dating offers the opportunity to get to know each other more slowly. It can create a basis for deeper relationships, not just superficial ones. According to Chandni, this slower form of getting to know someone online is healthier because introverts are not as likely to be driven by their hormones and are less likely to see their match through rose-coloured glasses. This may also help you recognize red flags better!

Tinder matches can be a good exercise in overcoming your typical dating hurdles and developing a routine of sorts. Even if it doesn’t work out with someone, you can still take something away from the encounter for the future and learn from it.

Did you hit it off with your match? Great, because meaningful relationships and positive encounters with others can boost your confidence - you get feedback and compliments from others, your strengths are mirrored and you can learn that others like you just the way you are.

5 tips to overcome the typical hurdles in (online) dating

Don't pretend just so someone will like you. Always be yourself! Social media gives the impression that we should all always be active and lead the most colourful and "Instagrammable" life possible. But that's not always true, you can and should always be yourself - then you'll find someone who likes you for you.

Be clear about what you like and don't like - for example, if your match suggests a big event for your first date, but you would actually feel much more comfortable in a more low-key setting, communicate this clearly from the start and stand up for your needs.

If you're worried about topics of conversation, think about open-ended questions - i.e., not yes/no questions - to ask your counterpart in advance. What would you like to know about your match? What has made them interesting to you so far? This will get the conversation rolling because we all usually like to talk about ourselves.

Try not to cancel dates at the last minute. In psychology, unless there is a genuine reason, this is called "avoidance behaviour" - and it only reinforces your insecurities. Even if it takes effort and you have to leave your comfort zone, it's worth facing your fears. The keyword here is also: Practice, practice, practice! Remember that safety comes first URL and IRL and there are plenty of safety tools available to you on the App.

Collect experiences and reflect on them: On which dates did you feel good and why? What was the reason, and what were the decisive factors for you to like a date? Was it the location, the activity, or a certain topic that was talked about? How can you use this knowledge to get the most out of upcoming dates?

And last but not least, think about a fixed ritual or routine that you do every time before a date. Because rituals have a positive effect on our well-being and can convey security. These can be quite banal things, such as a soothing shower and taking time for styling. But a certain song that gives you good vibes or a phone call with a friend can also help. There are no limits to your imagination - find something that makes you feel good, calms you down and takes away some of those pre-date nerves.