Johannesberg, July 25: In 1990, Nelson Mandela came out of prison after 27 years. His public and domestic life in the last 13 years has been eventful. Amongst other things, he divorced his wife of long years, Winnie Mandela. At the ripe and wise age of about 70, he married Graca Machel.
On a visit to South Africa, coming from India, where we could not imagine Gandhiji or even Nehruji doing something like this, I asked many people how they reacted to these decisions by Mandela. All were surprised at the question. “This was his personal matter and had nothing to do with us”.
In the June 15 2003 Sunday Times Metro, I read a story “Wanted Wife Number Two”. It began thus: “Meet Johannesburg’s most eligible married man. Mogwailane Mohlala, the head of city’s electricity utility, has announced on the council’s official website that he is in the market for a second wife”. The story was accompanied by a photograph of this senior officer and his smart wife in their plush home.
In his interview, Mohlala said married men who oppose polygamy are dishonest. “I have a problem with a man who says he is opposed to it but has thousands of girlfriends outside”. He went on: “Also the way you do it, the first wife must agree. You mustn’t force it... she must also help you choose”. And, of course, his wife agrees. Said the 37-year-old mother of three: “If my husband wants to marry another woman I’d rather support him than not know what he does... I would help him choose. I love him too much to lose him to AIDS.”
Who says only India has pativratas! I am sure if they heard about this, Hindutvavadis would declare that this pativrata South African lady was actually a Hindu. She is exactly like the Hindu wife whose story we were told in childhood: The wife who used to carry her husband (patidev was suffering from leprosy and couldn’t walk) to a “vaishya” (prostitute).



Like Mohlala, it is difficult also for me to decide who is better — the person who does it openly or one who does it Clintonly? But why are there only these two options ever, in India or South Africa — polygamy or mistresses? In no part of the world do we expect the men to be loyal.



On the same Sunday in Johannesburg, I read another article in the Sunday Times entitled “A Life on Hold”. This was about Amina Lawal, a Nigerian mother, sentenced to death by stoning for adultery. There has been international outrage against this case. But only the hearings are postponed and Amina waits for a decision. The man she has named has sworn it wasn’t him; the judge (male) was convinced and let him go.



A hundred and more countries have signed the Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women. But is there any country without blatant discrimination? One stray step of a women can get her stoned to death, while a man can go astray and pativrata wives in Africa, in the US (Hillary Clinton must also have been a Hindu in her previous life) or in India, do not tire of defending their husbands.