Adolescence is a period of enormous upheaval, leaving most parents feeling unprepared. As children push and pull away, mothers and fathers frequently resort to old habits of control and harsh limit setting. However, this unproductive strategy backfires with teenagers, whose brains are hardwired to rebel and want autonomy. Navigating these difficult years demands revising obsolete, rigid parenting norms. 


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Dr Chandni Tugnait is an M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director of Gateway of Healing talks on how to effectively parent adolescents and teens.


Priorities connection over compliance


A concentration on obedience and tight regulations results in unavoidable power battles at the very moment when teenagers are physiologically motivated to create independence. Rather than opposing this developmentally appropriate urge, focus on creating an open, nonjudgmental bond in which kids can confide in you. An atmosphere of connection fosters trust and makes children more open to your direction.


Validate their emotional experience


A dismissive "you'll get over it" approach to adolescents' mood swings or deep feelings risks making them feel misunderstood and emotionally alone. Make an attempt to affirm their subjective perspective and show empathy for the intensity they're feeling, even if their reaction appears disproportionate or unreasonable. This model represents emotional intelligence.


Treat them as individuals


Don't automatically categories all of your teens' behaviors into stereotyped narratives about hormonal, rebellious adolescents. It disregards their personalities and circumstances. Respect each child's beliefs, values, and identity exploration as they develop. Teens will mimic the level of openness and understanding you demonstrate.


Resist overparenting and rescuing


Adolescence is a period of emotional and experiential preparation for adulthood. Resist the desire to micromanage or intervene whenever they experience disappointment or failure. Allow them to deal with the repercussions of their behavior while remaining appropriately engaged and helpful. These problem-solving experiences foster resilience and accountability.


Loosen your grip


While safety threats necessitate tight boundaries, gradually delegate decision-making authority to teens. This allows them to assert independence while remaining inside your basic parameters. If you keep too much control throughout these formative years, your children will rebel against you or develop tendencies of excessive self-criticism and dependence.


Emphasise privacy and respect


Make an active effort to respect your teen's privacy by knocking before entering their room. This polite gesture recognises their developing sense of self. In contrast, constantly invading privacy by digging through electronics or personal goods displays a lack of trust and exemplifies entitled conduct.


Be a guide, not an enforcer


Instead of lecturing, correcting, or mandating, show humility and engage in honest conversations to guide them in the right way. When you approach teenagers with an inquisitive mentorship rather than a condescending sermon, they are more inclined to absorb your wisdom when they have gained their own insights.


While the teenage years are sometimes portrayed as adversarial fights between strict parents and rebellious children, this framing is incorrect. When you grasp that adolescence is not a period to be endured but rather a continuous process to be handled together, you may shift your relationship dynamic toward appropriate autonomy and mutual respect. The key is to be mindful that your job is changing from persistent micromanager to nurturing consultant.