Phew…they couldn’t bear to live with pretence any longer!

Bhavna Khullar

Madonna has refused to let her divorce dampen her spirits. For the past few days, the queen of pop has been telling her pals that she wants to be old, free and single. And her ongoing ‘Sweet & Sticky’ tour has provided her the perfect opportunity. On the other hand, British director Guy Ritchie has been so desperate for ex-wife to lead a normal life, that he got her to wash his car Sunday mornings. He complains that he had been trying to turn her into an English housewife. And oh he didn’t get enough sex! Poor ‘guy’… All that Madonna and Guy Ritchie now have to say about their relationship is that they ‘can’t bear to live with pretence any longer’. The celebrity couple which was hell-bent on calling it quits after firing a row of arguments at each other, including the amount of time each devotes to their careers, Madonna’s desire to adopt another child, Kaballah and so on…, have finally got rid of each other. Divorce settlement…Finally! Madonna and Guy Ritchie have been granted a divorce at the High Court in London. The court listed "Ciccone M L v Ritchie G S" as one of 17 cases for "matrimonial and civil partnership causes for pronouncement of decree." The settlement that happened on November 21, 2008, saw neither Madonna (50) nor Guy Ritchie (40) in court. The decree nisi was granted less than a month after the couple, who have three children, declared their eight-year marriage was over. A sworn statement released by the court showed the pop star petitioned for divorce on the grounds of Ritchie`s unreasonable behaviour. Though the couple reportedly did not demand a financial settlement from each other, it is thought that Madonna is worth some £300mn, while Ritchie is believed to have £30mn in assets. The couple is also reported to have agreed to share custody of their two boys, Rocco, eight, and three-year-old adopted David Banda, while Madonna`s daughter from an earlier relationship, 12-year-old Lourdes, will stay with her. Guy blames it on diary scheduled sex Huh! Nobody would have paid heed to the remarks coming from their pals, if Guy himself wouldn’t have come out with a clear cut reason for their split. According to Ritchie, Madge’s diary scheduled sex broke the back of their marriage. Guy Ritchie has apparently claimed that his marriage to Madonna took the tumble when the singer began scheduling their sex life in her diary, adjusting it after her workout sessions. That with someone who wrote a book called ‘Sex’ and is known to be the symbol of women’s sexual freedom. Men! Did A-Rod act as a catalyst? While the two continued to indulge in mudslinging, there were also reports that it was Madonna’s growing proximity with Baseball player Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) that further hampered her already weak relationship with Guy. Rod, who is also going through a divorce, has been apparently looking for solace and hence Madge has always been an easy target and, nevertheless, it was vice-versa for Madge too. The break-up Desperate for her relationship to work, Madonna tried to be a perfect wife. But from the start, they were chalk and cheese. Madonna loved her millionaire, high-octane existence while Guy was laid-back and was never one for making extravagant gestures... ever. Ritchie preferred drinking and playing cards with pals, including actor Jason Statham, rather than spending time with his wife. But she craved attention and demanded glamorous night outs with him. Madonna wanted to get dressed up and be seen. She loved the glitz and the glamour and the photographers waiting for her. Guy wanted a wife he could have a whisky on the sofa with. Guy was sick of his career taking a backseat and was determined to spend as long as he had to promoting his latest film RocknRolla, even if it meant being away from Madonna rehearsing in the US. Despite huge attempts at patching things up, they both knew deep down that divorce was on the cards. They tried hard over the last few months but their fighting was getting out of control. Madonna wanted to wait till her ‘Sticky & Sweet’ world tour was over but now both could not wait to get rid of each other. The final straw came before Madonna started her US tour. Madonna wanted a highly stage-managed separation, with their split being announced when it was convenient for her. A quick recap of Madge’s relationships In the late 1970s, Madonna dated Dan Gilroy, with whom she formed the band Breakfast Club. In the early 1980s, she dated her collaborator Stephen Bray, artist Jean-Michel Basquiat, DJ and record producer Mark Kamins, and musician Jellybean Benitez. While filming the music video for "Material Girl" in 1985, Madonna dated actor Sean Penn and married him later that year. After filing and withdrawing divorce papers in December 1987, they separated on New Year's Eve 1988 and divorced in January 1989. Of her marriage to Penn, Madonna said, "I was completely obsessed with my career and not ready to be generous in any shape or form." Madonna then began a relationship with Warren Beatty while working on the film Dick Tracy. The couple broke up in the fall of 1990, after a year and a half together. In late 1990, Madonna dated Tony Ward, a bisexual model and porn star. Their relationship ended by early 1991, and Madonna began an eight-month relationship with rapper Vanilla Ice, who appeared in her Sex book. Madge dated basketball player Dennis Rodman in the mid 1990s. In September 1994, in Central Park, Madonna met fitness trainer Carlos Leon who became her trainer and lover. On October 14, 1996, Madonna gave birth to Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon in Los Angeles, California. Madonna dated Andy Bird, who sold his story about their eighteen-month relationship in late 2000. Madonna became involved with Guy Ritchie, whom she had met in 1999, through mutual friends Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler. On August 11, 2000, she gave birth to their son, Rocco. On December 22, 2000, Madonna and Ritchie were married in Scotland. As of 2008, Madonna resides in Marylebone, London and her country estate in Berwick St. John, Wiltshire, with Ritchie, their two sons, and her daughter. On October 15, 2008, a spokeswoman confirmed that Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie plan to divorce. The couple has finally got separated at the High Court in London…Phew!