Fifty shades of grey - the lobbyists and service providers of India

They describe themselves as PR gurus, crisis managers and life coaches.

There operations are grey but, they come in many shades and it`s a rare equal opportunity industry. I am talking about the greasy oozy slime balls that ease the way for politicians and corporates. And, this is an industry proudly created by the Congress party with all other parties following suit. They describe themselves in various ways as PR gurus, crisis managers and life coaches. Make much of the fact that banal talk TV uses their services as empty talking heads. And, unlike the much vilified Internet Hindus who are at least honest trolls, our men and women service providers make much of their uber insider status. So they schmooze in five star hotels blowing air kisses to all and sundry, kowtow to the politicians in a clear defined pecking order. Bitch about each other and infest social media like Facebook with vituperative nonsense and get offended when challenged as to their retainer from a political party. But, a true blue lobbyist even while affronted as to how he hasn`t taken a penny for services rendered - he was doing it out of true blue love for Soniaji and Rajiviji still can`t control his dalal desire to name drop. So while he may just about bee spouting rubbish on FB, his family were always connected to the Congress since the Dandi march. And, hence the hissy fit if you challenge his dalali ka namak. Then there is a podgy one whose life is a peripatetic orgy of photos with the rich and famous. You are left puzzled as to what he does? Because his stature his as diminutive as his size compared to the people he is photographed with. And, how can you leave out the ladies. While, nothing much remains to be said for Niira Radia, there are already four ladies competing to be the next Niira.

One is a pale wraith like thing who uses culture as her calling card. Her mushairas are as famous as her patron - a blue blooded cabinet minister who has ensured that she climbs the ladder lad by lad. These people for a price are desperate and will do anything that their patrons want. Lobbying for an arms deal, a steel plant, telecom licence, want a story planted, a blonde or three they are willing to do it all. And these slimes are responsible for the swamp that is Delhi.