Why Is It Important To Get Pre- Marital Couples Counselling? Psychologist Steps In To Explain

Couples therapy should not only be used for resolving conflicts but also can be used as a preventive measure. Premarital counseling allows couples to address potential challenges and build a strong foundation for their future.

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A dream wedding, a fairytale wedding is what most couples aim for when they decide to get married. Weddings bring with them endless planning, fun, festivities, shopping, and partying - both for the couple and their families. The whole family contributes towards making the wedding a success, ensuring that the food is perfect, return favours are ideal and every guest is taken care of. But what no one gives thought is to prepare the young couple for their marriage and life ahead! 

Dr Mona Gujral, Chief Psychologist, coto shares her insights on why it is important to get pre- marital couples counselling.

How, you ask? The actual wedding is just the celebratory part of the event, but marriage is waht begins afterwards, after all the guests have gone, festivities are over and the couple is alone with each other. With new responsibilities, bills to be paid, and life with new in-laws, reality hits and couples often realise that no one really prepared them for this. 

It can get overwhelming when you have to align with your partner’s family, be careful about finances, be comfortable with living together and managing each other's personalities and eccentricities. All these make marriage tough and couples often start feeling the pressure, which can weaken their bond if not addressed correctly.  

This is one of the many reasons that couples’ therapy before getting married is something I recommend to my clients. It helps the couple in their transition from being single to being married. It is believed that the first year after being married is the toughest, and I believe that if a couple is able to set a strong foundation in the first year, the rest of their life will be a smooth, secure and fulfilling journey. 

As a psychologist, I encourage couples to view therapy as an investment in their future. It’s an opportunity for them to understand and appreciate each other’s perspectives, develop strategies to handle familial and societal pressures, and also strengthen the emotional and psychological well-being. Platforms like coto can actually help couples take that first step towards counselling, by recognising the unique challenges faced by young couples during this transition phase.

A few areas where premarital couples therapy can help are:

1. Preparing for Family Integration: Marriages never happen between just two individuals, they involve integrating two families. This sudden weight of expectations, of conforming to the disciplines of a new household, of bonding with the in-laws can get really tiring and in some cases suffocating for the couples. Therapy can help couples navigate this dynamic with empathy and understanding. It gives them insights into how to connect with everyone while maintaining their own boundaries and individuality.

2. Strengthening Emotional Intimacy: One of the biggest reasons for divorce is the lack of emotional bonding between a couple. When one person starts feeling unheard, unloved. Therapy allows couples to reconnect on a deeper level, find more reasons to bond and to nurture their relationship.

3. Healthy Communication Habits: There is no marriage where there are no fights. But the key to a successful relationship is talking to your partner about it in a manner that is not negative with the intention of resolving the issue at hand. Therapy provides a neutral space to discuss feelings, expectations, and concerns constructively. 

4. Building Conflict Resolution Skills: Conflicts will always be a part of marital life, because no two individuals are the same. So, it is important to understand that your partner is different from you and would have a different thinking than yours. Therapy equips couples to understand this difference, and gives them strategies to handle disagreements that may arise.

5. Addressing Cultural Sensitivities: For couples from diverse backgrounds, therapy can help them understand cultural differences and establish mutual respect for the customs, rituals, and dietary habits. It teaches them to embrace the individuality of their partner and at the same time form a life that is common to them both.

Remember, a grand wedding is just the start; a strong marriage is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication. By seeking therapy before tying the knot, you’re setting the stage for a fulfilling and enduring partnership.