Why Married People Get Attracted To A Third Person: Pull Of Novelty To Dissatisfaction With Spouse

As modern-day relationships get more complicated, the impact can be seen in marriages too. A survey result shows that people's hearts and thoughts frequently stray in quest of meaningful relationships and connections that go beyond the confines of conventional marriage.

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Within the complex world of human interactions, the idea of marriage and mixing represents a dynamic interplay of feelings, desires, and societal expectations. Many people struggle to strike the perfect balance between commitment and their desire for unbridled freedom. The mysterious energies and hidden sparks that motivate people's behaviours and goals are revealed in a tapestry by this enthralling phenomenon. Being married yet still accepting of dating illustrates the complex qualities of human nature and the complexity of contemporary relationships. It is clear that people's hearts and thoughts frequently stray in quest of meaningful relationships and connections that go beyond the confines of conventional marriage. In addition, curiosity and a drive to explore are human traits that may be more than one partner is able to satisfy.

According to a thorough study conducted in February 2023 by Global Market Research Specialist IPSOS, 67 per cent of respondents indicated an interest in learning more about non-monogamous relationship styles and practices, such as polyamory, swinging, and open partnerships. The study polled a demographic sample of 1,500 people in 12 Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities (Kolkata and Patna in the East; Mumbai, Ahmedabad, Indore in the West; Delhi, Ludhiana, Jaipur in the North; Bangalore, Kochi, Hyderabad in the South; Guwahati in the North East.) in India.

Surprisingly, 61% of respondents have at least once in their lifetimes engaged in one or more of these behaviours.“Although it is commonly believed that marriage is a union of love and devotion between two individuals, it is not immune to the challenges presented by human nature. Despite being married, some people may find themselves drawn to the possibility of other romantic relationships. Some married persons discover that they are drawn to the forbidden fruits of novelty and attraction because of their marital position. Even though these feelings might not be discussed or publicly stated, it is important to understand the underlying factors that give rise to such feelings,” says Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager, Gleeden, India.

The Enchantment Of Innovation

One convincing reason why some married people look for experiences outside of their committed marriages is the pull of novelty. A long-term relationship's familiarity and comfort might eventually produce a sense of regularity and predictability. It can become too alluring to resist the possibility of meeting someone new, having interesting conversations, and learning about common interests. It provides people with a break from the routine of everyday life, reviving sentiments of vigour and desirability. The IPSOS poll found that an impressive 34% of respondents who have had extramarital affairs described their desire for the thrill of a new romance as their main driving force.

Emotional Separation

A significant 33 per cent of respondents openly admitted to cheating and justified their behaviour by saying that their partners had not shown them enough love, care, or attention. Emotional disengagement within a marriage frequently causes the desire for connection elsewhere. People may go for comfort and understanding outside of their marriages when communication breaks down and emotional requirements in a partnership are not met. This can appear through exchanges on social media, through emails or discussions, and frequently takes the shape of online flirting or the development of emotional bonds with other people.

Temptation And Improvisation

Sometimes fleeting attractions might lead people to make rash choices. One-night stands or having sex with someone other than their spouse can be an effort to date a transitory need without necessarily holding plans of terminating their marriage. In fact, 33 per cent of respondents acknowledged cheating because they were in a circumstance where they might engage in physical contact with someone they found attractive and gave in to the urge.

Personal Unhappiness

Sometimes the desire to look into alternatives to marriage comes from inner discontent rather than dissatisfaction with one's spouse. People may feel unfulfilled in a variety of areas of their lives, such as their professions, self-esteem, or personal development, which drives them to look for approval or excitement elsewhere. Integral parts of infidelity are the ego and self-confidence. In fact, 31 per cent of respondents admitted to cheating in order to prove their persuasive skills and desirability to others as well as to oneself.

Desires and Fantasies

Compromise and shared obligations are common in marriage, which can muddle individual identities within the constraints of the union. Some people have a great desire to rediscover who they are and follow their passions and interests. Many people have fantasies about being with someone except their current partner. Fantasy can give an escape from the constraints of everyday life by giving one a safe place to explore urges that would not be appropriate or realistic to act upon in reality. Surprisingly, 55 per cent of respondents acknowledged having dreams about having physical contact with someone except their official spouse, and 37 per cent said they thought it was feasible to cheat on your partner while still feeling devoted to them.