London: They were odd couple indeed, but they loved each other truly. Now after losing his wife Sandra Bullock, biker Jesse James has revealed how his insecurity led him to his doom as he cheated on her only nine days after she got the Oscar for ‘The Blind Side’.
“The truth was that deep in my heart, I’d never believed I was worthy of Sandy’s love. I’d always adhered to that same old plan I’d grown up with: push them away before they push you away,” the Daily Mail quoted him as saying.
He has revealed how the love in the world was not enough to make him ‘feel comfortable on the red carpet’.
“The after-parties were even more painful. No matter how much I tried, I stood there, stuffed into a suit, hoping no one would unmask the fraud that was me. If there was an unoccupied corner in the room, I’d quickly wedge myself into it, smiling weakly, waiting for the night to extinguish itself,” he said.
Jesse recounted how the desire to assert his freedom over the stardom of Bullock piloted him to the affair that ultimately brought down the misfortune on him.
“Mentally at a loss, desperate for something to make me feel as if I had some freedom, I ran through the list of things I could do to assert my independence. Infidelity, unfortunately, was at the top of the list,” he added.