London: A 30-year-old woman, who had been used like a sexual object by her previous partners, refused to sleep with her hubby saying that she first wants to learn about physical intimacy herself.
Britni de la Cretaz, who lives in Boston, said she used to participate in various sexual acts with partners and act like a porn star because she thought that was what men wanted.
“Growing up in a world that tells women that we are sexual objects, that wants us to know that our worth lies in how attractive we are to men,” MailOnlne quoted her as saying in an article.
In an essay for Cosmopolitan.com, Britni wrote 'I internalized those messages. I learned to see my value being measured by how many men wanted to sleep with me.'
Britni said her husband loves her and 'supports her 100 per cent'.
She explained that in the past she used sex as a way to make people like her.
'I've spent my entire life having sex for other people. I believed that his affection was conditionally attached to the things I was willing to do in bed,' she said.
Not only did her destructive behavior leave her 'incredibly traumatized', but she said she still doesn't know what it is like to truly want to have sex for her own benefit.