Readers tell Pooja Bhula how they manage a way out of their negative emotions
Breathe, Listen, Think
Breathe. Seems simple enough, but with confusion and difficult propositions ahead of you it can be extremely difficult to take a step back. It is our nature as human beings to want to choose the easier 'get busy' option. But when I see a wall approaching and there's no way to get around it, I choose to act against instinct and choose NOT to panic. I tell myself how counter productive it would be. Then I take a step back, mute it all–the background thoughts racing at 100 km/hour. I Breathe. Physically. In and out. Then I focus on the issue, chart out the first little step to take towards the solution. And then the next step. The step after that. I keep following the path till the situation unravels and I am out of it.
In most cases, the severity of the consequences is much less than what we imagine. Life is much harder in our minds than in reality. This is the power of perspective. If you stop the natural instinct to blindly act, you will find a way to a more intelligent action. This is my experience.
Music and Activity
When I am extremely upset I listen to rock music because it drowns out the voices in my head. Sometimes good food does the trick; or I take a long walk with fast music so that I am too exhausted to think.
Solitude and Snooz
What gives me solace in a difficult time is giving myself 'me-time'. I switch off from the world and give myself all the importance. My all time solution for any problem is to get a lot of sleep.
My son and his smile
It doesn't matter whether I've had a good day or bad, when I get home my nine and half-month-old son is so happy to see me; and that smile right there is my happy place. When he greets me I forget everything in the world, nothing else matters. It's bliss. My moment of solace. I'm uplifted.
There's no one solution
Different things work for me at different times. Helping others in need, supporting those who are hurt or grieving helps me divert attention from my own troubles. Teaching (my profession) brings back the focus and doing things I long wanted to do such as ice skating, adventurous activities, going for long walks or to the spa or sauna brings back the excitement and optimism. Sometimes listening to music, watching spiritual videos of Brahmakumari and spending time with family acts like a balm. And cooking new dishes is surely therapeutic. All this brings peace. The fact is that the strength to face every situation lies within us. Nothing and nobody can help us except ourselves; only when we're willing to accept the situation, can our friends' and family’s' words of wisdom help us sail through difficulties. So we have to accept, forgive, heal, strengthen ourselves and move on.
As told to Pooja Bhula